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A List Of Things I Care More About Right Now, At 2:05 PM EST, Than I Care About O.J. Simpson's Parole Hearing
1. This surprisingly tasty gluten-free donut I just ate 17 minutes ago. 2. The thought of whether its too soon to get another donut, and if two donuts in an hour is a decision I really need to be making, even if said donut is gluten-free. 3. The homie Aisha Harris’ review of Girls Trip,…
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Of Course HBO Greenlit "Confederate" Because White Guys Get Funding For Every Idea (Even Bad Ones)
Confederate — the upcoming HBO series from Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D. B. Weiss that rewrites history to depict an America where the Confederate states successfully seceded — might actually end up being a good show. I don’t have much faith that it actually will be. This series is a re-imagining of…
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They Came, They Saw, And They Conquered Umar Johnson's Hotepalooza In Brooklyn
Two weeks ago, Dr. Umar Johnson had an event in Brooklyn, where the Prince of GhostedGoFundMe was scheduled to give a talk, sign some books, and share beard maintenance tips. (He does have a pretty impressive beard.) Three brave people volunteered as tributes, to attend and report back on their findings. Here are their stories.…
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I Played Basketball Yesterday And Now My Nipples Are Really Sore And If This Is What Getting Old Means Fuck This Shit
I am not one of those adult-aged people who complains about adulting and other things adult-aged people are expected to do as adult-aged people. Because no one wants to hear that shit. Yes, going to work every day is hard and shit. But work is hard for everyone. Saying you hate work because its hard is…
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Is Arya Stark The Only White Person With A 100% Black Approval Rating?
The answer, of course — and by “of course” I mean “according to my timelines and text messages whenever Game of Thrones is on” — is yes. Now, there have been white people, real and fictional, as beloved by Black people as Arya Stark. Meryl Streep. Batman. Thisbe, from Pyramus and Thisbe. The list isn’t…
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If You're Still An R. Kelly Fan In 2017 You Might Be A Worse Person Than R. Kelly
I’m not going to say much about R. Kelly because, at this point, on the seventeenth day of July in 2017, there’s not much I can say about R. Kelly that hasn’t already been said. And repeated. And reported on. And recounted through anecdote. And even said by me on this very space four years ago. With other artists…
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Y'all Do Realize Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Kick Conor McGregor's Ass, Right?
The lead up to the Mayweather/McGregor fight Aug 26th has been fascinating. Two aggressively annoying and arrogant and lilliputian men — one a quasi-illiterate domestic abuser and the other either a racist or someone just fine with donning a racist’s costume (which is just as bad as a racist) — attempting to out-douche each other is…
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Five Quick Things You Need To Know About Game Of Thrones If You've Never Watched It Before And Want To Start Now
1. There are shows where you’re able to start the show mid-series or even mid-season and still have a general idea of what’s happening. And not just episodic fare like and Law and Order, whose structure allowed for each episode to exist as a standalone artifact. Shows like Suits, for instance, intentionally inject a gaggle of exposition into each episode because…
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Why Niggas With Advanced Degrees Hate It When People Lie About Having Them, Explained
So, I have to say. Although most of the criticisms about Dr. Umar Johnson seem to be valid, the one that makes me feel a certain way is how hard some of you degreed niggas are going in on his supposed lack of a doctorate. It seems elitist and classist; as if only a Black person…
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Trillion Ton Iceberg That Just Broke Off From Antarctica Was Obviously Just Trying To Buy NBC
This is the only reasonable explanation for why a chunk of ice the size of Delaware is currently lurking untethered near the Antarctic Peninsula; floating around all unbothered and harnessless and free like Rihanna. Not global warming or any other extinction-level, SCARY-AS-THE-MOTHERFUCKING-FUCK shit outlined in this nightmare-inducing NY Mag story about the doomed Earth. (And how the…
