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10 Things I’ll Miss When the Obamas Leave the White House
Although the Democratic National Convention was intended to be a celebration of Democrats, Democratic values, and (in comparison with the Republican National Convention) sanity and science, it was a bittersweet week for much of America, since it also was perhaps the last time we’ll see the Obamas on a national stage as president and first…
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Confession: I Love My Baby Daughter, But I (Probably) Hate Your Baby
In the months leading up to the birth of my daughter, I was filled with anxiety. Which apparently is normal and expected. And most of these anxieties existed in the form of questions. Some commonplace and perfunctory. (“What type of dad will I be?” “What type of person will she be?”) And some not so…
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How Taylor Swift Is The Most Dangerous Type Of White Woman, Explained
Who is Taylor Swift? Taylor Swift is a transubstantiated vision board curation of inspirational quotes who happens to be perhaps the world’s most famous White woman. She’s also Snapchat. (To me at least.) She’s Snapchat? What do you mean? I recognize that Snapchat is a thing that is a very popular thing. I am not unaware of…
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Pokémon Go Is Not a ‘Distraction From the Real Issues’; You’re Just Stupid
Within the last couple months or so, my soon-to-be 8-month-old daughter has been transitioning from her diet of the world’s finest breast milk and the occasional formula supplement to breast milk plus formula plus real, actual food. We started her off with rice pudding (which she tolerates). Then oatmeal (which she likes). Then oatmeal with…
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The Definitive Ruling On The Single Best Way To Play Spades
Last weekend, I attended a birthday party for a friend. Which, all things considered, may have been the bougiest birthday party I’ve ever been at. Consider the following: A) It was marketed as a birthday party but it was actually just a day party that happened to occur during someone’s birthday. This is stealth bougie.…
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The 10 Types of Hate Mail Every Black Writer Receives
One of the few silver linings from the last two weeks of police-involved violence is that some genuinely brilliant and fearless and incisive and resonate work from black writers has sprung from it. Making this particularly impressive is that they’ve found ways to distill, craft and articulate unique angles and relevant points while still processing…
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Black Lives Matter, Explained, For People Who Still Somehow Don't Freakin Get It
What is Black Lives Matter? Black Lives Matter is a social justice and activism movement founded by Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi. It derives from the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter, created in 2013 in response to George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the death of Trayvon Martin. It uses non-violent means — hashtag activism, protests, marches, die-ins, and intentional…
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How To Avoid Getting Shot And Killed By The Police If You Happen To Be Black
I will concede that we don’t know everything about the circumstances that led to Philando Castile’s death. What we do know, however, is that it would seem like Castile did everything Black people are taught and learn to do when interacting with the police; all things we’re taught and learn to do to avoid what happened to…
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The Murder Of Alton Sterling (And Others Like Him) Slowly, Subtly, And Steadily Kills Us Too
The thing about state sanctioned murders of Black Americans — such as the murder of 37-year-old Alton Sterling; a father of five who was shot and killed by a Baton Rouge police officer while two other officers restrained him — is that if you write and think and scream and rage and cry and obsess…
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Why President Obama's Final 4th of July White House BBQ Will Be The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened
It’s been well-established that President Obama discarded the last one of his fucks many moons ago; letting it go the same way Kappas forsake dignity at coed kickball games. We don’t know exactly where he left that last fuck, but my guess would be in a bathroom sink in Ben’s Chili Bowl on U Street,…
