Does Steve Bannon Have Greyscale? (Asking for a Friend)

Just as discriminating against someone for their race, their ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their religion, their age, their disabilities, their health, their perceived intelligence and perhaps even their feelings about kombuchaย is (rightly) frowned upon, itโ€™s also (usually) not cool to disparage someone for their physical appearance, since it remains (mostly) inflexible and out…

Just as discriminating against someone for their race, their ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their religion, their age, their disabilities, their health, their perceived intelligence and perhaps even their feelings about kombuchaย is (rightly) frowned upon, itโ€™s also (usually) not cool to disparage someone for their physical appearance, since it remains (mostly) inflexible and out of a personโ€™s control.

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Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?
Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

These rules, however, do not apply to wizened banana stuck in a Naziโ€™s Challenger Hellcat tailpipe Steve Bannon, who is ugly as fuck. Because Bannonโ€™s ugliness synopsizes his wretched soul and allows for an immediate and unambiguous repudiation of his beliefs. Someone who looks like that considering himself to be a member of a master race is so absurd that thereโ€™s no possible analogy hyperbolic enough to reinforce that absurdity. His ugliness is analogy-proof! It transcends time, space, status, station and gravity. His ugliness is an event horizon.

This Marriott-continental-breakfast-sausage-gravy-looking motherfucker is so ugly that someโ€”including the homie Samantha Irbyโ€”have surmised that he might have greyscale, the (mostly) incurable and really, really, really, really, really bad dermatitis from Game of Thrones. And while greyscale doesnโ€™t actually exist, Bannonโ€™s ugliness transcends reality, too, so this is possible!

Anyway, does Steve Bannon have greyscale? Letโ€™s look at the evidence.

Since heโ€™s always photographed in ill-fitting suits and long-sleeved shirts, weโ€™ve never actually seen his arms or legs. Probably because he has greyscale.

To my knowledge, he has never met Samwell Tarly. Which means if he once had greyscale, he still has that shit. This nigga has greyscale.

*None.*

Itโ€™s confirmed. Steve Bannon has greyscale.

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