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Stephen Miller Somehow Only Being 32 (!!!) Is More Proof That Terrible White People Age Like Day-Old Guacamole
The biggest revelation of the New York Times’ profile on White House Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller isn’t that he’s a raging and festering asshole, or a rogue sheet of single-ply toilet paper caught in Jeff Sessions’ belt after he shits on single mothers. Naturally, the Times piece reiterates Miller’s abject awfulness with stories like…
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ESPN Hasn’t Yet Realized That It Needs Jemele Hill More Than Jemele Hill Needs It
The president of the United States and his administration are in a de facto state of war against anyone who isn’t male, anyone who isn’t straight, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t Christian, anyone who isn’t wealthy, and anyone who doesn’t place the interests of straight and wealthy and Christian white men above the…
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No One Has Ever Been or Will Ever Be Whiter Than Christopher Columbus: The Whitest White Man Ever
There’s a 30- to 40-mile-long stretch on the Great Allegheny Passage—a 150-mile bike trail stretching from Pittsburgh to Cumberland, Md.—where you’re pedaling through nothing but woods. No landmarks, no cities and no sign of civilization other than the trail itself, the mile markers reminding you how much farther you need to go before you can…
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The Pittsburgh Steelers Might Be Better Right Now if They Had Colin Kaepernick Instead of Ben Roethlisberger
Last week the Tennessee Titans signed sentient dumpster juice Brandon Weeden as an insurance policy behind Marcus Mariota, their oft-injured starter. In Weeden’s defense, he might actually be a pretty swell guy, so referring to him as sentient dumpster juice might be a tad harsh. But as an NFL quarterback, he is known more for…
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10 Simple and Subtle and Easy Things I Do Every Day to Fight White Supremacy
White supremacy is like a wave at sea crashing into a beach—an unstoppable and transformative force, shifting sand, ferrying debris and constructing America’s topographical landscape. This is why, sometimes, you have to do what I used to do when at the wave pool as a kid, when I’d wait for the waves to come in,…
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Why You Should Stop Addressing and Referring to Women as ‘Females,’ Explained … Again
Cam Newton is a peculiarly attired star quarterback for the Carolina Panthers. Yes. The best way to describe Cam’s attire is that he dresses like he’s from the future and the ancient past at the same time. It’s like Blade Runner meets Caligula. It’s really quite fascinating. During a media session yesterday, he was asked…
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10 Not-Racist-at-All Things White People Do That Make Me Think ‘Yup, He’s Probably Racist’
“Staying alive” is probably my favorite hobby. It’s fun and exciting and exhilarating, and it literally keeps my heart rate up. And as a black man in America, a great and efficient way of finding time and space to partake in my favorite pastime is by avoiding unnecessary interactions with raccoons, undercooked chickens, shitty barbers,…
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Never Forget That Y’all’s Bum-Ass President Threw Paper Towels at Puerto Ricans and Didn’t Even Buy Bounty
Although pictures can say thousands—and sometimes millions—of words, when I saw the image yesterday of the president of the United States of America tossing paper towels at storm-ravaged citizens of Puerto Rico days after lobbing insults at San Juan’s mayor and calling them (in separate tweets) lazy and entitled and unworthy of aid because they’re…
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The Cop Suing James Blake for Defamation After Racially Profiling and Assaulting Him Is the Whitest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Yesterday evening, my not-quite-2-year-old daughter asked for a piece of spicy shrimp that I was eating. I knew she wouldn’t like it, so I shook my head and told her, “Trust me, little baby person, you won’t like this.” Unconvinced, she continued to ask—and for context, her asking is just her looking at me and…
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How Many (White) People Have to Die Before America Gives a Damn About Its Gun Problem?
At the time of writing, the death toll from the Las Vegas terrorist attack stands at 58—a number that will undoubtedly rise as the day continues and may continue to rise for the following week(s). These people and several hundred others were allegedly shot by 64-year-old Stephen Paddock as he took position on the 32nd…

