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Does Steve Bannon Have Greyscale? (Asking for a Friend)
Just as discriminating against someone for their race, their ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their religion, their age, their disabilities, their health, their perceived intelligence and perhaps even their feelings about kombucha is (rightly) frowned upon, it’s also (usually) not cool to disparage someone for their physical appearance, since it remains (mostly) inflexible and out…
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The Racist Roots of ‘Cuck’ (the White Supremacist’s Favorite Insult), Explained
Sure! Oh, so you don’t think “cuck” is a thing? I wish I were. (Or is it “I wish I was”? I’ve never quite known.) But no, cuck is absolutely, definitely, totally a crucial part of the “alt-right” lexicon. So crucial, in fact, that I take back what I just typed. I’m glad I’m not…
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ESPN Televises Slave Auction for NFL Players and Wait, Are We Sure the Confederates Actually Lost?
After watching a clip of an ESPN fantasy football bit where a group of white men “buy” black players from an (also white) auctioneer, I couldn’t help but ask: If this was the idea that received the go-ahead to produce, what the fuck else was on that producers’ meeting whiteboard? A tongue-in-cheek skit where Odell…
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The 10 Best Places for Black People to Escape White People When We Just Don’t Wanna See Them for a While, Ranked
Even if there’s a white barber working there, his name will be “White Mike” or “White Bobby” and he’s there to escape white people, too. Be warned, though. While there won’t be white people there, there will be elephants. Lots and lots of elephants. All of the fucking elephants. If you need some white-people escaping…
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There’s Nothing ‘Fringe’ About These White People
The comforts in considering the white nationalists in Charlottesville, Va., to be fringe are obvious. For white people, speaking of them and their views as if they’re unique and anomalous allows them (the “good” white people) to distinguish themselves from these racists, while also minimizing their ubiquity and influence. If they’re fringe—if they only exist…
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Maybe We Should Stop Inviting Omarosa to Things (and by ‘Things’ I Mean Conventions, Cookouts, Clambakes, Church … )
… barbecues, game nights, brunch, sleepovers, car pools, anywhere west of the Mississippi River, day parties, commencement ceremonies, Trap Yoga, Trap Painting, Trap Karaoke, Trap Wine Tasting, Trap Skunk Hunting, Trap Trapping, casino nights at Schenley Gardens Senior Living, Caribana, Carnival, HennyPalooza, Must Love Beards, Must Love Beekeepers, Must Love Beekeepers with Beards, half-marathons, dinner…
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An Ode to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of Hip-Hop
Claiming that I don’t smoke marijuana is technically a lie. Because I have. But that lie is more true than the truth because I’ve only smoked (maybe) 15 times, and referring to myself as a “weed smoker” would be misleading. I’ve tried to enjoy it, but I’ve come to accept that it’s basically the same…
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Fortunately, Ezekiel Elliott Just (Allegedly) Beat His Ex-Girlfriend but Didn’t Sit During the Anthem, so He’ll Be Back Soon!
Earlier today, ESPN reports, sentient cash register wrapped in a Jos. A. Bank discount-rack pocket square Roger Goodell rained mediocre vengeance and slightly perturbed anger down on the hopes of the Dallas Cowboys and their fans as the NFL suspended Ezekiel Elliott six games for a series of alleged domestic abuse instances in 2016. These…
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The 20 Whitest Things White People Say to Black People, Ranked
20. “Oh, you’re married?” 19. “Is that your hair?” 18. “I don’t see color.” 17. “Can you turn that down?” 16. “DUUUUUDE, TAKE A SHOT WITH ME!!!” 15. “This section is reserved.” 14. “He doesn’t bite.” 13. “I voted for Obama.” 12. “Yeah, you’re black. But not like, black black.” 11. “If you can say…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love No. 34: The NABJ Convention
Perhaps you noticed that your bottomless brunch spot was a bit less crowded than usual Sunday afternoon, and all of the bottles of room-temperature water placed on tables were left untouched. And then, when attending Trap Pumpkin Carving class last night, you looked around and saw you were the only one there! Disturbed and confused,…
