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Why Do So Many White People Want to Bone the American Flag?
Two weeks ago, Insecure was criticized for airing a scene where the women on the show discussed the sexual and racial politics of blow jobs. Namely, that fellatio was the reason niggas either date white women or marry the few black women willing to give it. For a show that’s usually—and sometimes painstakingly—relevant, it felt…
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Whiteness Is Useless Without the Nigger
“What would white people do without the nigger?” It’s a question that courses and bleeds through Ta-Nehisi Coates’ “The First White President.” It’s never asked explicitly, but it lurks beneath each point, ensconced in the piece’s premise: a fundamental and connective marrow. And it’s been with me since Sunday afternoon after I visited the National…
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10 Signs You’re One of Those Wack-Ass People Who Don’t Like ‘Bodak Yellow’
Because I’m a weird and curmudgeonly fuck who doesn’t go to clubs and while driving listens only to Waze and Spotify playlists mostly consisting of Kanye and the Inception soundtrack, before last weekend, I’d heard about Cardi B’s “Bodak Yellow” more times than I had actually heard it. By a pretty significant margin, too. While…
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They Know They Can’t Win; They Just Want Black and Brown People to Lose Too
Perhaps the biggest fallacy in characterizing the type of person who supported and still supports Donald Trump—one that I’ve been guilty of believing and sharing myself—is that the type of person he appeals to lacks the sophistication to realize that his promises of returning long-dead American jobs in steel and coal and manufacturing aren’t just…
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Black People Should Never, Ever, Ever, Ever Call the Police … Unless 1 of These 10 Things Just Happened
The mere threat of murder isn’t really enough because inviting a murder squad to your house just because you heard a bump or a chainsaw in the night is hustling backward. Chasing possible murder with probable murder is like chasing Fireball with Honey Jack. No, the ax needs to be embedded in your spleen before…
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Polite White People Are Useless
I’m not quite sure if Glory is a great movie. I know that I enjoy watching it. I know that it featured one of the greatest movie scores of all time. (So great that the then-11-year-old me actually went out and bought the soundtrack on a cassette tape. Which probably explains why I didn’t have…
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Floyd Mayweather Jr. Didn’t Beat ‘Racism,’ He Just Beat a Racist White Boy (and Made Him Rich)
Of the myriad justifications for 1) witnessing the sham “fight” between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor and 2) finding joy in the serial domestic abuser’s win, the worst is that Mayweather’s pummeling of Caucasian Jidenna was some sort of existential victory for blackness. “They” lost last night and “we” won. Of course, this distinction…
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Taylor Swift’s Stale and Unsweetened Lemonade
From Kellyanne Conway and Tomi Lahren to the whole “53 percent of y’all voted for Darth Cheeto” thing, this has not been a particularly good year for white women. Collectively, they’ve undergone a bit of a cultural reckoning, as there has never been a hotter spotlight on their role in propagating, nurturing and fighting to…
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10 Signs You’ve Just Met a Black Person Who’s About to Tell You ‘I’m Not Like Other Black People’
1. You saw his Facebook profile, and his latest status read, “I’m not like other black people, because I watched Frasier.” 2. You read one of his tweets, which read, “The black kids in my high school didn’t like me because I wore Vans and listened to Linkin Park.” 3. You’ve met other people who’ve…
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There’s a Serious Hennessy Shortage in America, and It’s Actually Donald Trump’s Fault (Seriously)
Hennessy is a criminally overrated cognac. I maintain that it’s actually more fun to say “Hennessy” than it is to drink it. Because Hennessy tastes like ATM runs at 3 a.m. Hennessy tastes like puddle water and penitence. Hennessy tastes like it should be called “Omarosa.” But overrated doesn’t mean unimportant, since it exists as…
