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The Mayor of Pittsburgh Had Young Black Drummers Dressed as Civil War-Era Soldiers at His Inauguration and I Have Questions
Bill Peduto was inaugurated as mayor of Pittsburgh on Wednesday, officially beginning his second term in office. I don’t really have many thoughts about Peduto himself. He seems like he’s perpetually campaigning to be the mayor of a city that only exists in Nancy Meyers movies, but I guess that’s ambitious or something. I do,…
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Taunting Kim Jong Un Into World War III Seems Like a ‘Violent Threat,’ so Why Won’t Twitter Suspend Donald Trump’s Account?
If, by chance, you happened to be invited to my house to play Mafia and eat some takeout from Nicky’s Thai Kitchen (I recommend the crab fried rice and the shrimp pad Thai) and you were greeted at my front door by my 2-year-old daughter, you’d probably think it was cute but mostly vaguely neglectful.…
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10 New Year’s Resolutions for Introverts
Hey, y’all. I just had a birthday last weekend. And since 39-year-old dads don’t really get gifts anymore other than alcohol and “Hey, I’ll take the kids this afternoon so you can stay home and watch the NBA League Pass in your drawls in peace,” I think of my birthdays now as opportunities to give…
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Thank You, Woke Baby Jesus, for Giving Us Ashymania ’17 Between Tariq Nasheed and Dr. Umar Johnson
It is the War to End All Lotions. The Thrilla in the Manila Folders. The Notep Telenovela Marathon. The Battle of Waterloo. And by “Waterloo” I mean “Did these niggas shower today?” On Friday evening, it was revealed that our good friends Dr. Umar Johnson and Tariq Nasheed—men who were assumed to go hand in…
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Is Cold Weather Racist?
This morning, after walking my dog, I went back outside, popped open the trunk of my car and removed some workout items that were still in there from my trip to LA Fitness Wednesday evening: a sleeveless hoodie, a white T-shirt, a pair of white socks and some gray shorts. I usually don’t like to…
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Milo Yiannopoulos’ Editor’s Notes Are Absurd, Hilarious (and Depressing) Proof That White Men Get Too Many Chances
I’ve spent much of Thursday afternoon combing through the manuscript of Milo Yiannopoulos’ Dangerous—which Simon & Schuster submitted (with editor’s notes intact) as a rebuttal to Yiannopoulos’ lawsuit against the publishing house for canceling his book deal and shuttering the book. The contract, if you recall, was very publicly voided after a recording where Yiannopoulos…
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2017: The Year Liberal White People Reminded Us That They’re White, Too
Any time capsule attempting to capture 2017 would definitely include an acoustic cover of “Bodak Yellow,” an American flag with a Colin Kaepernick figurine kneeling on it, a clip of the sunken-place scene from Get Out and an Apple watch, just in case someone in the future discovers a reason for it existing. But the…
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How Do You Feel About Kool-Aid?
My parents raised me to be a Christian, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that we were practicing Christians. I mean, we were Christians, technically, but Christianity, in our house, felt like more of a benevolent and perfunctory directions guide than any sort of edict. I was taught to pray before every meal—a ritual I still…
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Why So Many of Us Are So Willing to Be Led by ‘Ain’t Shit’ Men, Explained
He is your least favorite Facebook friend’s favorite “educator.” He also recently joined an exclusive club with Omarosa Manigault Newman. The Niggas Without Jobs Who Still Somehow Got Fired This Month Club. They meet every Tuesday at Bruegger’s Bagels to play Connect Four. He didn’t get fired, per se, as much as he’s currently under…
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Apparently Donald Trump’s Feelings Will Be Hurt if the Obamas Get a Royal-Wedding Invite and He Doesn’t. Please, 2018, Make This Happen!
So we can talk about what Meghan Markle’s engagement to Prince Harry “means”—and what “means” even means in this context—and imperialism and colorism and capitalism and neoliberalism and whether the Obamas being invited to the royal wedding is something to be celebrated and the racist brooch-rocking Darth Abigails currently in the royal family, and we…
