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Thank You, Woke Baby Jesus, for Giving Us Ashymania ’17 Between Tariq Nasheed and Dr. Umar Johnson
It is the War to End All Lotions. The Thrilla in the Manila Folders. The Notep Telenovela Marathon. The Battle of Waterloo. And by “Waterloo” I mean “Did these niggas shower today?” On Friday evening, it was revealed that our good friends Dr. Umar Johnson and Tariq Nasheed—men who were assumed to go hand in…
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Is Cold Weather Racist?
This morning, after walking my dog, I went back outside, popped open the trunk of my car and removed some workout items that were still in there from my trip to LA Fitness Wednesday evening: a sleeveless hoodie, a white T-shirt, a pair of white socks and some gray shorts. I usually don’t like to…
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Milo Yiannopoulos’ Editor’s Notes Are Absurd, Hilarious (and Depressing) Proof That White Men Get Too Many Chances
I’ve spent much of Thursday afternoon combing through the manuscript of Milo Yiannopoulos’ Dangerous—which Simon & Schuster submitted (with editor’s notes intact) as a rebuttal to Yiannopoulos’ lawsuit against the publishing house for canceling his book deal and shuttering the book. The contract, if you recall, was very publicly voided after a recording where Yiannopoulos…
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2017: The Year Liberal White People Reminded Us That They’re White, Too
Any time capsule attempting to capture 2017 would definitely include an acoustic cover of “Bodak Yellow,” an American flag with a Colin Kaepernick figurine kneeling on it, a clip of the sunken-place scene from Get Out and an Apple watch, just in case someone in the future discovers a reason for it existing. But the…
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How Do You Feel About Kool-Aid?
My parents raised me to be a Christian, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that we were practicing Christians. I mean, we were Christians, technically, but Christianity, in our house, felt like more of a benevolent and perfunctory directions guide than any sort of edict. I was taught to pray before every meal—a ritual I still…
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Why So Many of Us Are So Willing to Be Led by ‘Ain’t Shit’ Men, Explained
He is your least favorite Facebook friend’s favorite “educator.” He also recently joined an exclusive club with Omarosa Manigault Newman. The Niggas Without Jobs Who Still Somehow Got Fired This Month Club. They meet every Tuesday at Bruegger’s Bagels to play Connect Four. He didn’t get fired, per se, as much as he’s currently under…
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Apparently Donald Trump’s Feelings Will Be Hurt if the Obamas Get a Royal-Wedding Invite and He Doesn’t. Please, 2018, Make This Happen!
So we can talk about what Meghan Markle’s engagement to Prince Harry “means”—and what “means” even means in this context—and imperialism and colorism and capitalism and neoliberalism and whether the Obamas being invited to the royal wedding is something to be celebrated and the racist brooch-rocking Darth Abigails currently in the royal family, and we…
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10 Struggles That Only Men With Big-Ass Beards Will Understand
Hello. My name is Damon Young, and I have a big-ass beard. It’s not an obnoxiously big-ass beard. I’m not the bougie-nigga Rick Rubin. But it’s big enough that it has its own personality, likes and dislikes (for instance, my beard looooooves Broad City). It is also fortunate enough to exist during a big-ass beard…
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LaVar Ball Is the Wrong Guy With the Right Ideas
A sizable part of LaVar Ball’s appeal for people he happens to appeal to is that he’s a walking, talking distillation of many of the half-baked but smart-sounding arguments about sports that often occur in barbershops, during happy hours, over barbecue pits, at spades tables and on the bleachers of midget-league football games. It’s in…
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Playing the National Anthem Before Sporting Events Is a Stupid and Silly Tradition and We Need to Stop Doing It
My nephew is the starting point guard for his high school basketball team. I try to make as many games as I can, which means I’ve spent (and will be spending) many Tuesday and Friday evenings this winter in various high school gymnasiums throughout Western Pennsylvania. I was in one of these gyms last night…
