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The Trump White House Is Love & Hip Hop for Terrible White People (and Ben Carson)
Remember way, way, way, way, way back when Love & Hip Hop: New York was centered on Peter Gunz and his revolving sister wives? And way, way, way, way, way back before then, when Erica Mena was still on the show and hurling wine flutes like ninja stars at Rich Dollaz’ neck? And way, way,…
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Is ‘Colonizer’ the Best Word for Problematic White People Ever?
The search for the perfect slur for white people has been relentless, exhausting and mostly fruitless. There are dozens of contenders, but none that have ever truly stuck. Basically, the search for the perfect slur for white people has been like the search for a really good fast-food fish sandwich. “Cracker” is perhaps the most…
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America Doesn’t Have a Gun Control Problem. We Have a White-People Problem
Last August, as my wife and I and two of our friends biked through the Great Allegheny Passage in McKeesport, Pa., a city 12 miles from Pittsburgh, I joked that we probably wouldn’t see any more black people until Maryland. I was wrong. In the 150 miles between Pittsburgh and Cumberland, Md., we saw four.…
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What’s the Biggest National Chain You’ve Never Actually Stepped Foot in Before?
Fifteen or so years ago, Oprah had a show where various celebrities offered their favorite sandwiches: what’s in them, where they’re sold, how often they eat one, etc. Chris Rock was featured in this segment, and described a shrimp-and-bacon club from the Cheesecake Factory. This memory has stuck in my mind because of two thoughts…
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Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner’s Drinking Chocolate Milk for ‘Diversity’ Is the Whitest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The pervasive mindlessness of white people—a dynamic stemming from the perpetual withdrawing from humanity required to keep whiteness erect—is something we’re reminded of and endangered by every day. Sometimes, as with the reactions from the White House and its minions to the shooting in Parkland, Fla., it manifests as a craven cowardice where you sincerely…
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Pittsburgh Cop Shoots 3 Black People in Less Than a Year, Kills 1
On Feb. 11, 39-year-old Mark Daniels was shot and killed by Pittsburgh police officers after he allegedly shot at and ran from them when they attempted to approach him. The details, reported by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, are somewhat fishy. The police were called to the scene after being “alerted to an actor with a gun.”…
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Yet Another Reason Why Shuri From Black Panther Is the Greatest Disney Princess Ever
If “Don’t scare me like that, colonizer” wasn’t already enough to give Black Panther’s Shuri (depicted amazingly by Letitia Wright) the crown as the Greatest Disney Princess Ever—it was, but let’s just pretend that it wasn’t—there are dozens more reasons why she deserves it. In the last half of the movie alone, she saved a…
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We Need to Start Barking at White People Who Speak Out of Turn
Editor’s note: This story contains spoilers for the film Black Panther. Black Panther’s Wakanda is a near-utopic vision of how a country could look; perhaps the best depiction of Afrofuturism ever captured on film. There were thriving and ideologically diverse cities surrounded by expansive and bucolic countrysides. There was modern technology perfectly weaved into cultural…
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Who’s Slept With More Women: Donald Trump While Married or Wilt Chamberlain?
It’s telling how fascinated Donald Trump and the people connected to him seem to be with the suspected sexual prowess and/or deviance of black men. There’s Ivanka Trump’s reported curiosity with mulatto cocks. There’s Sean Hannity, who suspected “secret sperm” in Kehinde Wiley’s depiction of Barack Obama. Which, hopefully, marks the very last time I…
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Schools Are Supposed to Be Safe
My first job out of college was as a full-time substitute teacher at Wilkinsburg Junior/Senior High School. A week into my time there, the ninth-grade English teacher unexpectedly quit, and I took over that classroom for the reminder of the year. I have myriad takeaways and memories from that six-month stretch and the rest of…
