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On Reading Kiese Laymon’s Singular and Indestructible Heavy on the 5th Anniversary of My Mom’s Death
With his devastating and resplendent and transcendent Heavy, Kiese Laymon conjured, created and gave us a thing that each person who conjures, creates and gives things aspires to do, and that’s to create a thing that only he could have created. Of course, for the people who conjure, create and give things for a living,…
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All of the Food in New Orleans Is the Best of All the Foods. How Is This Possible?
Before flying there for Essence Fest in July, I’d never been to New Orleans. Since then, I’ve been there twice, once for Panama’s bachelor party, then Sunday and Monday of this week to speak at Tulane University. Between the three separate visits, I’ve been there eight days total. In those eight days, I’ve probably eaten…
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I’mma Let Y’all Finish But SNL’s Chris Redd Just Did the Best Kanye West Impression of All Time
I have either run out of things to think and say about the things Kanye West is (presumably) thinking and (definitely) saying or I have exhausted the will to make that effort. I’m not sure which. Either way, the result is the same. MAGA Kanye possesses the intersecting veneers of “fascinating” and “disturbing,” but the…
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Donald Trump Has a Nose for Trash Black People
If there’s a silver lining so far with the Trump presidency—and one attribute that I’m honestly grateful he possesses—it’s that Donald Trump has a nose for trash black people. He has a way of sifting through the sea of blackness and sniffing out those who are the most shameless, the most feckless, the most hypocritical,…
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High School Soccer Team Accused of Yelling Racial Slurs at Black Players Travels to Away Games With Armed Guards
Last month, soccer players at Connellsville Area High School in Connellsville, Pa., were accused of directing racial slurs at black players during a game against Penn Hills High School in Pittsburgh. The Connellsville players and coaches denied this. A hearing featuring students, parents, coaches and administrators from both sides was held Sept. 24, and it…
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Jimmy Butler Going to Work Just to Roast His Boss and Coworkers Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. I’m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics discussed over the past…
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What Taylor Swift Did Is Cool, I Guess. But We Need Fewer White People to Vote, Not More
Earlier this week, millions rejoiced as sentient Facebook algorithm Taylor Swift emerged from her rhinestone-studded cocoon of caucasity to reveal that she recently discovered racism and the importance of voting. This act apparently caused a massive voter registration spike. According to Kamari Guthrie, director of communications for Vote.org, as many as 65,000 people registered within…
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Marriage Advice for Panama Jackson, Who Is Getting Married This Week
Three weeks ago, while Panama and I were doing a talk at Princeton University, I shared the story of how, although we first met in 2004 and started VSB in 2008, we didn’t meet in person until our three-year anniversary party in D.C. in 2011. The more I tell that story, the less sense it…
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The 10 Blackest Things in Shannon Sharpe’s Smorgasbord of Smoke, Ranked
Earlier today, Shannon Sharpe posted a picture on Instagram that can only really be described as a smorgasbord of smoke. A blackness lasagna, maybe. Blackness bukkake, perhaps. Either way, it looks like he’s either planning for the blackest game night ever or asked the hotel room service for a rush order of advanced hypertension. No…
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LaCroix Doesn’t Just Taste Like Bug Spray, It Might Actually BE Bug Spray
Remember way, way, way, way, way back when, when I was like, “Y’all are pretending to enjoy LaCroix,” and some of y’all were like, “Blasphemy! La Croix is the nectar of the Gods!” And then I was like, “Um, it tastes how Lindsey Graham’s voice sounds,” and then y’all were like, “I JUST BAPTIZED MY…
