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10 Things Everyone Loves but I Pretty Much Hate
So there’s an unpopular opinion prompt thing going around Facebook—where you’re asked to list 10 things everyone loves but you kinda hate. I sometimes get annoyed with these sort of things because people don’t follow the rules and just start listing things that everyone hates (“1. funerals.”), but thankfully people haven’t been doing that with…
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Introverts Hate This Shit Too, Y'all
I grew up on a block with killers, crack dealers, dope fiends, stick-up kids, at least two arsonists, arbitrarily unchained pit bulls that “don’t all bite like that, really,” niggas with cases, girls with bids, aunties with bounties, snitches and cops from the actual show Cops (they used to film in my neighborhood). When I…
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A Word of Encouragement to All the Black Men Who Desperately Need Haircuts Right Now
I see you, fam. Really, I do. Well, actually I don’t, like literally. Because of the social distancing thing and the statewide lockdown thing, I only leave home now for daily walks and maybe to take the kids to this open parking lot behind my house. So when I say I see you, I mean…
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Unfortunately, The Worst People Will Survive This Too
The compulsion to convince ourselves that bad things will eventually happen to bad people can be seductive and cathartic. It’s also embedded in most of the lessons taught to us as kids. Children’s stories and fairytales usually end with the “good” winning and the evil receiving some sort of punishment. The concepts of fair play…
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How to Be a Successful Writer in 2020
It’s a question I’m asked during book talks, while signing books after said talks, on panels, in emails, through DMs, at happy hours, and even once in between games at LA Fitness. I try to be as transparent as possible, but the honest answer (“I can tell you what worked for me, but there’s no…
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What Color-Coding the Books in My Office Taught Me About Life
Nothing. I tried real hard, though, to find life-lessons there. An edict, perhaps. An ancient mystery, finally solved, maybe. A clue, even, that would begin to unlock an ecosystem of interconnected riddles. A tomb opened. A catacomb unleashed. A reverie discovered. “One cannot step twice in the same river,” the great Heraclitus said when noticing…
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Are We Obligated to Snitch on and Publicly Shame Coronavirus Deniers?
If you’re the type of person who believes, for instance, that AIDS can be cured with paprika, your belief is definitely dangerous, and you probably need some lotion. But because the Venn diagram of “people who think mailboxes cause diabetes” and “people living in their aunt’s basements who still write their names on their orange…
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We're Just Not Built for This (and It's Fine to Admit That)
When faced with a life-altering and potentially life-ending crisis—a cancer diagnosis, for instance, or a terrorist attack—the performance of resilience can be an anesthetic; an anxiety-engulfing balm that allows us to make space for an effective counter-punch. Also, it just feels good to tell ourselves and others that “We got this” and “We’re built for…
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A Social Distancing Silver Lining? The Complete Eradication of Small Talk
If you know me, it shouldn’t be a shock to you that this social distancing thing feels specifically tailored for me—-a bespoke social mandate. (If you don’t know me, I’m a Capricorn and apparently an INTJ; distinctions that greatly matter to the people they matter to, and don’t mean shit to anyone else.) Of course…
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America's Response to the Coronavirus Is a Natural Consequence of White Supremacy
It’s crucial to remember, when attempting to place both the Trump presidency and the devotion he still receives today in the proper context, that the idea that white people have voted and will continue to vote against their self-interests when supporting him is a fallacy. He is president because, for his tens of millions of…
