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Skinny Jeans And Jordans And…A Gray Hair? Wait…Am I Having A Mid-Life Crisis?
I first noticed the gray hair in my beard a couple months ago. It’s on the left side of my face, attached to my jawbone, a barely-detectable dot of silver amid a sea of black. People don’t see it unless I alert them to it. Even then, I’ve had it mistaken for a speck of salt.…
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Beyonce Derangement Hyperbole Syndrome
I met a dozen or so people for brunch Sunday afternoon, a meet-up that was the brainchild of my wife and one of her friends to combine our collective love of bacon and bottomlessness to a need to do something about the disconnect in the Black professional population here instead of just talking about it.…
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The 25 Best Booties Not Named On The Original List Of The 25 Best Booties
Like Vogue, the New York Times has apparently caught booty fever. They think booty is their ally. But, while they merely adapted to booty fever, we were born in it. Molded by it. Again, we’ve always appreciated booty. We’ve been in booty’s corner for as long as booty existed. To us, there’s no better place…
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The Definitive List Of The 20 Best Times To Be Black
20. When you want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas and get discount conch 19. When you have a baby and you really, really, really want to name her Keisha 18. When you want to grow a beard and not have everyone think you’re a gotdamn hipster 17. When you want to date…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 21. Panels, Conferences, And Conventions
If you ever happened to be in dire need of 300 or so Bougie Black People and had no idea how to find them, go to Kinkos and create a flyer for a panel, conference, or convention. When done at Kinkos, create an Eventbrite page. And make sure to have a registration fee. Then, create…
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Actress Arrested For…Kissing While Black
Keeping score, we have documented proof that the following are legal offenses: Driving while Black. Walking while Black. Waiting while Black. Going home while Black. Sitting while Black. Losing your keys while Black. Being near a White Person while Black. Now, after Daniele Watts — a young actress who made her film debut in Django…
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The Whitest Thing We've Seen This Week: The Palin Family Snow Mobile Party Brawl
We’re equal opportunity assholes at VSB. So while we’ll continue to recognize lovely examples of peak Blackness, peak Whiteness deserves some love as well. And this story about the Palin family getting into a brawl — first alerted to us by @MsElleAyeGee — easily qualifies. Why? Well… 1. Sarah Palin, easily one of the six or seven…
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The Definitive List Of The 25 Best Booties Of All-Time
25. Everyone in Raekwon’s “Ice Cream” video 24. BernNadette Stanis 23. Jennifer Lopez 22. Tamron Hall 21. Your auntie on your mom’s side, whose gravity-defying, thicker than two-day-old grits ass is the reason why your Nana use to carry a .22 20. Phyllis Yvonne Stickney 19. Michelle Obama 18. Florence Griffin-Joyner 17. Kenya Moore 16. Melanie Martin 15.…
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The Blackest Thing We've Seen This Week
Why this Kool-Aid ad featuring Malcolm Jamal-Warner, brought to our attention by Tonja Stidhum, is the Blackest thing we’ve seen all week. 1. There is no single food Blacker than the Kool-Aid packet. Not greens, not chitlins, not salt, not nothing. Imagine Cornell West playing dominoes at Rucker Park in Harlem. That’s how Black the…
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Why Roger Goodell Is Not Getting Fired Any Time Soon
I play basketball every Thursday night. It’s a weekly game that has apparently been going on for decades. A group of 15 to 20 guys — varying in age and skill level — meet at Central Catholic high school, play for a couple hours, and drink beer afterwards. For someone like me, who still has…
