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Yeah, Bill de Blasio Is Trolling The Hell Out Of Internet Conservatives
Look, I’d be lying if I said I’d heard of either Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr before today. But since, according to Schools Chancellor Carmen Farina, hundreds of thousands of New York City public school kids are Muslim, it makes perfect, logical, and practical sense to close schools on the days these holidays are observed. This isn’t…
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Who Is Full Of The Most Shit In Regards To Penis Size?
After examining over 15,000 people — men ages 17 to 91 in Europe, Asia, Africa, and the United States — researchers have determined that the average erect penis length is 5.14 inches. This, and other findings of this study, means many people are up to their necks in bullshit. Who exactly is up to their neck in bullshit?…
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In Defense Of Too Many Of The "Wrong" Type Of Black People On TV
At the moment, Issa Rae’s The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl — a memoir with a buzz largely fueled by the popularity of her similarly themed webseries — is currently sitting on the New York Times’ bestseller list. Last week, Rae appeared on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, a show selected to replace The Colbert…
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What Damn Color Is This Clearly (Clearly!) Black And Blue Dress?
There are two types of people in the world. 1. People who see a black and blue dress. 2. People who see a white and gold dress. And by “people who see a white and gold dress” I mean “people who willingly download Big Sean mixtapes.” And by “people who willingly download Big Sean mixtapes”…
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Why "I Hope He Whooped The Shit Out Of George Zimmerman" Is The Blackest Thing I've Ever Heard This Week
1. Because although Melissa Harris-Perry said “hope,” its said in the same spirit of Cedric The Entertainer’s “wish.” Remember, she gave this speech at Cornell University. If she gave that speech at Cornell’s House of Naturals in East St. Louis instead, I’m 99.9% certain “I hope he whooped the shit out of George Zimmerman” would have…
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What's Happening With Derrick Rose Is Fucking Sad
The amount of money Derrick Rose will make because of professional basketball will be in the hundreds of millions. Not tens. Hundreds. He is very young; 26, probably younger than most people reading this. He’s also handsome, world-famous, and, aside from his recurring knee issues, in presumably amazing health. Basically, when thinking of the type…
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Completely And Utterly Ridiculous Racial Slurs For Black Americans, Ranked
I’m not quite sure what “jigaboo music” is. Or what it would sound like if I heard some of it. (Drums and the sound of watermelon being cut?) Ohio news anchor Kristi Capel, however, is aware, and it apparently sounds like Lady Gaga. Capel has since apologized, claiming that she didn’t know what the word…
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Zoe Saldana And Lupita Nyong'o Need To Make A Movie Together
And this movie needs to be titled “OMFG DID YOU SEE ZOE AND LUPITA LAST NIGHT???” And it needs to star Zoe Saldana and Lupita Nyong’o. And whoever the hell else wants to be in it because whoever the hell else wants to be in it doesn’t matter as long as Zoe Saldana and Lupita…
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Why Cicely Tyson Combing Viola Davis's Hair On HTGAWM Was The Blackest Thing I've Ever Seen This Week
I am convinced there is a writer — or, perhaps, a group of writers — on the How to Get Away with Murder staff whose sole job is to think of and craft the single Blackest scene they can possibly film that week while maintaining the show’s integrity. Perhaps their job title is ‘Blackness Grip”…
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Pictures Of A Beautiful 33-Year-Old Black Woman Look Like Pictures Of A Beautiful 33-Year-Old Black Woman
I’m not going to pretend to not know why this story is a story. Beyonce is Beyonce. And seeing less than flawless images of a woman who’s known for being so perpetually and publicly flawless that she unironicially created two versions of a song called “Flawless” — a song that, if created by literally anyone else (including an actual flawless person…
