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How It Feels To Get Your Ass Kicked In Spades
There are many benefits to living in Pittsburgh. There are literally thousands of places to get great breakfast food, the topography is completely unique and completely spectacular, and it’s surprisingly close to Toronto. Unfortunately, a robust nightlife for Black people is not one of them. If you’re a 30-something Black person in this city and…
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Why People Just Don't Give A Fuck About College Athletes Being Exploited
Last week, a friend joked that the first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA tournament should be national holidays. No one gets any work done anyway, he said, so why not just give everyone those two days off? This was not the first and will not be the last time I’ll hear someone make a…
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Um…Shouldn't Power Get A Royalty Check From Empire Now Too?
The “Blurred Lines” verdict likely won’t signal the end of the music industry. Although I agree that it set a bad precedent, I doubt it’s going to lead to a world where the only music not in danger of facing a copyright suit is made in the shower. But, if we are going to go there —…
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Has Anyone Ever Gone From Sugar To Shit Quicker Than Robin Thicke?
Almost two years ago to the day (March 26th, 2013), “Blurred Lines” — the lead single from Robin Thicke’s new album (also called Blurred Lines) — was released. To call that song ubiquitous would be an understatement. Because ubiquitous is naturally hyperbolic. But “Blurred Lines” was literally everywhere. Barbershops, bank lobbies, Bar Mitzvahs. Shit, there was a…
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Five Types Of Post-Racial Racists You Will Definitely Meet
The most telling part of the SAE fraternity chant caught on camera — well, the most telling part aside from the tuxes and gowns, because nothing says “it’s time to do some racist-ass shit” like Tuxedo Junction Groupons — is the fact that this song was perfect. The words, cadence, and rhythm were a perfect fit…
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It's Official: Bill Cosby Is Out Of His Gotdamn Mind
Bill Cosby is out of his gotdamn mind. This is the only thought that went through my head this morning while watching a fuschia pajamas-clad Cosby address anonymous fans on a rotary phone in a video intended on winning back the public. Because, when watching a fuschia pajamas-clad man who’s been accused of dozens of rapes…
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Draymond Green Summarized The Entire Black Experience In Five Seconds
At the beginning of the interview, he is every Black American trying to do the right thing. Every worker catching two trains to work this morning. Every parent dropping their kids off at school. Every husband agreeing to go weekend toaster shopping even though the toaster they currently own works perfectly fine. And then, something…
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"I Like Big Butts. And I Cannot Lie." Says Science
I don’t know exactly when it happened. I suspect it occurred sometime during the second semester of my freshman year in high school, but I don’t know why then or what caused it. What I do know, though, is that butts came out of nowhere. I never paid much attention to girl’s butts before then.…
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The Worst Part Of The DOJ's Report On Ferguson
We know that the Department of Justice will continue to investigate the Ferguson Police Department. And, if Ferguson doesn’t adhere to whichever changes the DOJ orders them to make, they will face some type of consequence. We know we’ll use the empirical evidence of the systematic racism in Ferguson to continue to fuel our own…
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Ben Carson Is The Dumbest Motherfucker Alive
I do not care that Benjamin Solomon Carson, Sr. graduated from Yale and became the director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins when he was 33, the youngest ever in that position. (For comparison’s sake, at 33, I was still saving my cups from Panera Bread — leaving with them instead of throwing them away, keeping…
