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'Aunt Jemima Was Canceled' Says Very Sad White Woman Upset About Black Lives Matter and…Pancake Syrup
According to their grammatically-challenged Twitter bio, Turning Point USA is a “Student Movement for Freedom, Free Markets, Limited Government.” While I won’t quite call them Hitler Youth USA, I wouldn’t not call them Hitler Youth USA, either. (But you can call them Hitler Youth USA if you want!) Again, I will not call them Hitler…
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The Rich Dad Poor Dad Guy Is a Racist, Idiot Trump Supporter So Please STFU About That Shitty Book Forever
People who pray at this altar are specifically susceptible to the sort of symbiotic grift that has made Robert Kiyosaki a rich man.
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'Karen McMuffin' Just Had a Human Moment Under Stress…Which Is Why No Human Should Have the Legal Right to Kill
In 2018, after a long and hard day of writing blogs about white privilege and gluten-free pancakes, I drove to the Wendy’s a few blocks from my house to get a Baconater, a frosty, and some fries. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window, the cashier said it might be a while because they…
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A Letter to the Shameless Negroes Marching in Suits to 'Change the Narrative'
A screenshot of a news clip is an efficient way to find art for an internet essay when an image from Getty or one of the other subscription-based photo libraries is unavailable. If lucky, you might even find a clip with a synopsizing chyron—which is the roving electronic caption usually at the bottom of a…
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What 'Defund' in 'Defund the Police' Actually Means, Explained
What a year, huh? Yeah, 2020 has been a monster. Forget 2020. I mean just from Sunday to Wednesday. You’re right. Each week has been a year. Each month a decade. The Popeyes chicken sandwich craze feels like it happened when I was 4 years old. So one recurring theme of the uprising is a…
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The Police Would Rather Kill White People Than Stop Killing Black People
I was reminded last week, while watching the clip of 75-year-old Martin Gugino getting pushed by Buffalo police officers and cracking his head open, of a Twitter thread a few years ago by Gene Demby. I cannot find the actual thread right now (perhaps someone can help me and I’ll add a link to it)…
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Why Drew Brees Is the Worst Type of White Man, Explained
Tough week, huh? Man. Remember how long and shitty everyone said March was? Yup. I want to buy March an Edible Arrangement and beg it to come back. Man. I would serenade the shit out of March right now. I’d be Keith Sweat in this joint. “Who can love March like me? (Nobody). Who can…
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Can Someone Explain #BlackOutTuesday to Me Because I'm Not Real Smart, but This Seemed Real Dumb
I tried very, very, very hard today to find a point of #BlackOutTuesday. Not a reason, mind you. There are many of those. It was created by two black women—Jamila Thomas (Senior Director of Marketing at Atlantic Records) and Brianna Agyemang (Senior Artist Campaign Manager at Platoon)—to “pause” the music industry. And that makes sense…
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Sentient Porkpie Hat Jason Whitlock Out at Fox Sports
Jason Whitlock, the Tomi Lahren of Clarence Thomases, is reportedly out at Fox Sports, after they couldn’t come to an agreement on a new contract. I first learned of this news on Twitter, where his name is currently trending. And his name is trending because he is so thoroughly loathed that news of him parting…
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White People Nationwide Mourn the Senseless Murder of a Minneapolis Target Store
“I’m still in shock. It was just there yesterday.” said 31-year-old Minneapolis resident Josh Hanks as he battled tears while standing in front of the Lake Street Target store’s remains. “I have so many memories of the Home and Patio section. So many laughs. So many smiles. And now it’s gone forever.” For the Lake…
