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A "Mixed Signal" Is Not A Mixed Signal
Imagine you’re a pilot. Not a fake pilot like Frank Abagnale. But a real actual pilot who does real actual pilot shit. You’re flying a plane from LaGuardia to Dulles. It’s 10pm and there’s a storm, so the visibility isn’t great, but it’s nothing you haven’t experienced before. Because, again, you’re a motherfucking pilot. You…
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Cool Shit BET Did Back In The Day, Ranked
8. BET Uncut Yes it was exploitative, distasteful, low-budget, vulgar, objectionable, hateful, and, quite frankly, embarrassing, but…well…hmmm. Actually, there are no buts here. It had no redeeming value. But I watched it, and you did too, and how else would we have been exposed to Joker The Bailbondsman? 7. Hell Date ***A meeting at some…
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Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift, And Lena Dunham Unite To Troll The Fuck Out Of Literally Everyone
Certain collaborations seem so counterintuitive — at least initially — that they almost can’t help but be successful off the sheer ingenuity and ridiculousness of someone attempting to put those two things together. Fried chicken and waffles, for instance. (Also, Big Sean and public speaking.) The risk in doing this, of course, is in looking wasteful and…
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An Investigation: Why White People Hate Kanye West So Damn Much
Human Rorschach test Kanye West closed out last night’s Billboard Music Awards with performances of “All Day” and “Black Skinhead” that were bleeped so many times they should have just had him holding a sign with the word “censored” as the entire performance. The reactions on my timeline and newsfeed about his pyrotechnics ranged from pissed to exasperated…
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Jake Ballard And The Friend Zone Mt. Rushmore
With each episode, Jake Ballard is discovering new levels of the friend zone. Levels we didn’t know exist. Levels we didn’t know were possible to exist. Levels that disrupt our understanding of the friend zone, and force us to reassess our concepts of time, space, dimensions, and cunnilingus. To merely call him a friend zone…
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10 Things That Would Be Much Better If You Mixed Hennessy With Them
Last week, I wrote that Hennessy was overrated and that we (Black people) need to finally collectively admit to ourselves that it just doesn’t taste good. Boy, was I wrong. I don’t know what inspired me to write that. Because Hennessy is the greatest drink I’ve ever drank. I’m actually drinking Hennessy right now as I write…
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A Guide To Reading VSB For People Who Just Now Discovered VSB
Hello, person who just recently discovered VSB. My name is Damon Young, and I’m the editor-in-chief and co-founder of VSB. That’s me in the picture with the sunglasses and the egghead. The fashionable fella to my right is Panama Jackson, senior editor and also a co-founder. Here’s another picture of a much, much, much, much-less-drunk…
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10 Life Lessons I've Learned From Watching Black Movies
(A blast from the past I felt compelled to update and edit after watching Devil in a Blue Dress again last weekend) 1. Light-skinned business women with long hair are shrewish (ie: Melissa De Sousa in The Best Man), gold-digging (ie: Michael Michele in New Jack City and Veronica Webb in In Too Deep), conniving…
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George Zimmerman Is Never Going To Fucking Die
George Zimmerman is never going to fucking die. This is all you need to know when seeing a news alert about him (almost) getting shot in the face. That it would not matter if he actually was shot in the face. Or repeatedly and surgically punched in the face by Zach Randolph. Or strangled in…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 29. Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey
Every few years or so, a phenomenon sweeps Bougie Black People off their collective feet, capturing the attention and affection of the entire population. Lupita Nyong’o. The Sperry Top-Sider. The concept of intentionally overtipping. Passport stamps. But perhaps nothing has enraptured BBP as quickly as the invention of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, which in five years…
