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Correction: Bree Newsome Actually Just Did The Blackest Thing I've Ever Seen
Yesterday, I wrote that a Black president singing “Amazing Grace” at a Black church on national TV was the Blackest thing that has ever happened. I said it passed peak Blackness and entered gravitational time dilation Blackness. Dark matter, event horizon Blackness. Undiscovered dimension Blackness, redefining our understanding of how Black Blackness could be. And then…
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Moments Blacker Than The Black President Singing "Amazing Grace" In A Black Church On National TV
1. Harriet Tubman. Marcus Garvey. Nina Simone. And Jesus. Together. On Juneteenth. The first Juneteenth. Playing spades. And eating sunflower seeds. BBQ sunflower seeds. Ranch BBQ sunflower seeds. At Rucker Park. But not Rucker Park in Harlem. But a Rucker Park replica in Lagos, constructed specifically for this purpose. And while the Harlem Globetrotters are…
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Wale's "Matrimony" Is A Step-By-Step Guide On Why Millennials Suck At Relationships
So, you know how people who are casual fans of rap music might occasionally admit they don’t actually listen to the lyrics, just the hooks? That they have no clue about — or interest in — what’s actually being rapped about as long as the chorus and beat are hot? It’s basically what Jay Z bitched about…
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Yup, Women Can Be Just As Evil As Men (…And This Is A Good Thing!)
While channel-surfing the other day, I came across Gone Girl on HBO. It had been on for maybe an hour already, but I kept on watching. Mainly because I wanted to see if I would still be as disturbed by it as I was when I saw it in the theater. Verdict? Yes. It’s also…
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White People Who Tried Really, Really, Really Hard To Be Black, Ranked
From Rachel Dolezal to Colonel Sanders, American history is filled with examples of White Americans adopting and appropriating Black culture so aggressively that they started becoming kinda, sorta “Black” themselves. It’s kinda like how my mom used to tell me that if I ate too many bite-sized Snickers, I would turn into a bite-size Snicker. Basically,…
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Don Lemon: The Troll Who Will Save America
It’s unfortunate that President Obama’s use of “nigger” became the biggest story from his recent interview with Marc Maron, because the reflexively (and grandstandingly) heated debate about that word has obscured a great point. “Societies don’t, overnight, completely erase everything that happened 200 to 300 years prior.” It feels counterintuitive, insulting even, to suggest that…
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White Murderer Says Nigger? "It's Not About Race!" Black President Says Nigger? "Let's Talk About Race!"
To give you an idea of how bizarre America’s relationship with race is, consider the following: 1. The two most talked about stories in the country last week were about… A) A ridiculous White woman who seems to believe she’s Shirley Chisholm but is just the real-life Kirk Lazarus. B) A White man who went into a…
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I'm Sorry White Guys Who Happen To Look Like Dylann Roof, But I'm Profiling The Fuck Out Of You
I know, I know, I know. Assigning characteristics to a person just because of the way they look, or the way they’re dressed, or the way they wear their hair, is wrong. It is not right to assume that every dead-eyed White guy hanging out in a Black church is just biding his time until he kills…
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Nowhere, No Safety, No Country For Black Americans
The privilege of being allowed to exist on Earth — and the experiences, the enlightenments, and the beauties associated with this privilege — comes with a couple unfavorable conditions. 1. We will die. 2. We will coexist with entities actively attempting to kill us. These are facts every human is conscious of. But this awareness…
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The Haters' Guide To Successfully Hating The Golden State Warriors
The Golden State Warriors are the new NBA champions; a perfect end to a historic season where they won 67 games (the third most in NBA history) and won the affections of both casual and diehard fans with an aesthetically and analytically pleasing style of play. They also feature a ridiculously popular league MVP who might not…
