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Nicki Minaj's "Pastor Lydia" Is The Worst Pastor Ever, And More Takeaways From The 2015 VMAs
1. It is 8:12 am. Which means it’s been less than nine hours since I watched the VMAs. In that time span I ate (approximately) seven lukewarm tator tots, drank two glasses of water, slept for six hours, walked my dog, and took The Wife Person™ to work. I also tried (and failed) to remember any…
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Pancakes Vs Waffles Vs French Toast: Who Wins?
Pancakes, Waffles, and French Toast are basically the Beyonce of breakfast foods. Sure, the meats definitely matter. And, in the right environment, can be the featured food. Basically, “bacon” = “Kelly Rowland.” The starches matter too, just because you need balance and something to place all the blame on if shit goes wrong. And yes, Michelle…
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An Interview With The Only Person Left In America Who Actually Admits To Being Racist
After reading some of the racially-tinged responses to both the Michael Vick story and #laughingwhileBlack, I became dismayed. Sad, even. Not because of the racism. Racism by itself doesn’t sadden me. I’ve grown so used to it that, on Thursdays, I congeal it into a gel and use it as deodorant. (And it’s surprisingly effective.)…
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Black People Don't Hate Dogs. We Just Hate When Their Lives Are Valued More Than Ours
My Pittsburgh Steelers are apparently courting Michael Vick to become their new back up QB. There are several reasons to be for (i.e.: the Steelers haven’t had a back up QB with an actual pulse since Charlie Batch) or against (i.e.: Michael Vick is the same age as “Rapper’s Delight”) this move. (For the record, I’m for…
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Exclusive: A Leaked Email Exchange Between Drake And Serena Williams
A few weeks ago, our sources were somehow able to find an email conversation between Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill. And then, a couple weeks later, one between Meek Mill and Drake. Wouldn’t you know it, those same sources found another email conversation, but between Drake and Serena Williams. We have great sources. A condensed version can…
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Getting Kicked Off A Wine Tour For Laughing While Black Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Every once in a while, you’ll see a story that’s so uniquely and unambiguously Black — with so many different aspects of Blackness involved in it — that it’s almost like someone had a Blackness Bingo card and was trying to fill every slot. The story of the 11 Black women thrown off of a…
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Three Most Common Comments From People Very Mad About Any Straight Outta Compton Criticism
Last week, I wrote a piece explaining why I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Straight Outta Compton. Most of the feedback was positive. And by “positive” I don’t mean that most agreed with my stance. I don’t expect (or even want) that to happen. Just that some people agreed, and some people disagreed but were able to articulate…
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The One Superpower All Black People Possess? Detecting Blackness
Now that the Shaun King “controversy” has apparently been settled, and the right-wing trolls have returned to their cages and their shifts at Dick’s Sporting Goods, I’m still legitimately fascinated with — but not surprised by — the fact that so many people doubted King’s ethnicity. And I’m not talking about the cretins scouring for any reason to…
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How To Be A White Person In A Room Full Of Black People
Maybe you were just invited to your Black co-worker’s Delta Sigma Theta hot dog eating contest. Or perhaps your Black boyfriend of six years finally gathered the nerve to introduce you to his parents. Or maybe you just got a new job and have to relocate…to D.C.. Or Atlanta. Or Detroit. Or perhaps you just won…
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Why I Have No Interest In Seeing Straight Outta Compton
Straight Outta Compton — the critically acclaimed depiction of N.W.A.’s origin — has been a commercial success, breaking box office records as it’s on pace to be the highest-grossing music biopic ever. Millions have seen it in the theater, and millions more undoubtedly will. I have not been (and will not be) one of them. Since…
