-
The Weirdest Shit That'll Happen To You While You Have A Pregnant-Ass Wife, Ranked
4. You will gain weight In the last 72 hours I’ve had pancakes four times. And not just a single pancake, but pancake feasts with steak tips and crab cakes and omelettes and milkshakes and entire half gallons of cranberry juice and shit. Now, I’ve always been a big eater. Actually, “big eater” is misleading. I’ve…
-
Why This Empire Meme Is The Worst Meme You Will Ever See This Week
1. There’s a particular strain of Blackness that creates the particular strain of Black person who’d create a meme like this. Perhaps it was their upbringing. Or the particular type of education they received. Or maybe even experiences they’ve had as an adult. Either way, however they got there, they are ashamed of Black people. Of Blackness. Because they…
-
Why You Should Probably Stop Referring To "Women" As "Females," Explained
Who is Michael B. Jordan? Michael B. Jordan is perhaps the hottest Black male actor under 30 in Hollywood. In fact, he might be the only Black male actor under 30 in Hollywood. Raise your hand if you can name another Black male actor under 30 without Google. Now, take that hand and smack yourself…
-
6 Tips on Approaching Women (Without Scaring Them)
According to certain people on the Internets, men just don’t know how to approach women anymore. Because feminism apparently gives these men mixed messages. Or maybe it’s the fear of street-harassment whistles. Or Planned Parenthood. Or Beyoncé’s “7/11” video. Either way, (some) men are apparently confused as hell, because “Hey, it’s probably not the best…
-
The Lightskinned Revolution Is Here, And It Has Been Televised. It's Called "Empire"
Terrence Howard does not belong here. This, more than anything else, was my biggest takeaway from Howard’s historically batshit Rolling Stone profile a couple weeks ago; an interview where… 1. He admitted that he literally does not believe one times one equals one. 2. His admittance that he literally does not believe one times one equals one…
-
Exactly How Fired Would Jack Kelly Have Been If He Wrote About The Holocaust Instead Of Slavery?
Jack Kelly writes a weekly column at the Post-Gazette. His views are conservative and contribute to the diversity of opinion featured in our newspaper. We have liberal columnists, too, who, like Jack, are provocative and can stir up reaction by readers. Obviously, readers need to keep in mind that our signed columnists, liberal or conservative,…
-
Why I Dislike Facebook’s New Dislike Button
Has a news story ever made you extremely happy, at first, and then extremely salty by the time you finished reading it? Like putting a spoonful of lime sherbet in your mouth, only to realize it’s actually wasabi? I’m asking to make sure I’m not alone, because that happened to me twice last week. First…
-
10 Things President Obama Has NOT Been Accused of Being…Yet
It’s a day during a week during a year, which means we were overdue for another fun round of “President Obama is a Muslim”; the game which is basically the conservative’s version of spades. I actually wouldn’t even be surprised if some of them had regular “President Obama is a Muslim” game nights and potlucks,…
-
Nancy Lee Grahn’s White Tears, Explained
So, I’ve heard this term “white tears” used before. What exactly does it mean? As I’ve written before, “white tears” is a phrase to describe what happens when certain types of white people either complain about a nonexistent racial injustice or are upset by a nonwhite person’s success at the supposed expense of a white person.…
-
Viola Davis's Emmy Win And Speech Was The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
How to Get Away with Murder is not a great show. It’s not a bad one, but the way it shifts from 40 minutes of “Eh, let me check and see what’s on the Travel Network tonight” to 20 seconds of “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED???” every episode is so conspicuous that you consciously become…
