-
Malia And Sasha Obama At The Turkey Pardoning Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The youngest person at my family’s Thanksgiving dinner yesterday was my niece. She is the youngest child of my wife’s sister, and favors her (my wife) so much that people assume they’re mother and daughter when they’re out together. She is also either nine or 10 years old (I forget which), which means for as…
-
Laquan McDonald And The Slow Death Of Black Joy
This is how it happens. This is how it fucks you up. It’s Tuesday. It’s a little after 7pm EST. On most Tuesdays, at this time, I’m either walking my dog or feeding my dog before walking him. After walking the dog, I usually go to the gym. And then, after the gym, I pick…
-
What to Do at Thanksgiving Dinner When Someone Says Something Offensive
It was Thanksgiving at my parents’ house, maybe 20 years ago. All the usuals were there: my parents and I, my sister and her three kids, my (maternal) grandmother, and my great-aunt Gladys. Dinner was over, and everyone had left the dining room to watch TV in the living room. Well, everyone except Aunt Gladys…
-
10 Things Your Bitch Ass Better Not Do At Thanksgiving Dinner
20 years or so ago, Thanksgiving officially surpassed Christmas as my favorite holiday. Because that’s around the time “food” finally surpassed “new wallets and sweaters from The Gap” on my importance scale. Anyway, if you don’t want to ruin it for everyone, here’s what not to do. 1. Undercook the turkey Unlike other family gatherings…
-
Maybe You're Single Because You're…Wait, Who Gives A Fuck?
Last week, we published “Maybe You’re Single Because You’re Wack” — a piece from Dustin Seibert articulating possible reasons why some of the more physically attractive and financially fit women in his sphere of influence seemed to be perpetually single. Like the rest of Dustin’s work on VSB, it was a long, verbose, and admittedly entertaining…
-
What Mizzou and the Cam Newton Letter Really Exposed About White America’s Relationship With the Black Athlete
It is apropos that the Charlotte Observer would publish Rosemary Plorin’s hysterical open letter to Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton a week after a threat of a boycott by the black football players at the University of Missouri led university President Tim Wolfe to step down. Because both instances—while separate in scale and seriousness—articulate how…
-
Taye Diggs Doesn't Want His Son To Be Black; Black People Don't Want Taye Diggs to Be Black Either
1. Taye Diggs believes you are an idiot. And yes, “you” encapsulates literally any and every person who happens to be reading this. If you are reading this — or, if you’re not reading this and just happen to be alive somewhere breathing air or eating Baja Fresh — Taye Diggs believes that you’re a…
-
How Many Buckets Of White Tears Were Used To Write That Letter From The Tennessee Mom To Cam Newton?
To fully grasp the depths of the ridiculousness of that ridiculous Tennessee mother’s ridiculous open letter to Cam Newton, you should be aware that this act was ridiculous in both a micro and a macro sense. It’s ridiculousness was Darth. Pervasive. Amorphous. A ridiculous soufflé stuffed in a ridiculous turducken. Levels on levels on levels of…
-
The 10 Blackest Things President Obama Has Done While in Office
When President Barack Obama found a way to incorporate “folks wanna pop off” at an international press conference Monday to address people with misinformation, it was just the latest confirmation of something many of us have suspected for some time: that the president, fully secured in his second and last term in office, is not…
-
President Obama's "Folks Wanna Pop Off" Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
During a press conference this morning, President Obama used the term “pop off” in reference to people making uninformed and patently ridiculous claims about what should be done with France and ISIS. And, unless I go outside today and witness a Sojourner Truth hologram double dutching with Marilyn Mosby, I’m very confident in declaring that the Black…
