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Why The Flats Are The Best Part Of Chicken Wings (Yes, Better Than The Drums), Explained
What are chicken wings? Bottomless brunch buffets and unexpected direct deposit are possibly the only things consistently better than well seasoned and properly cooked wings. What about bad wings? I’m trying to think of an analogy to articulate and contextualize the cocktail of disappointment, anger, incredulousness, and confusion that occurs when faced with a shitty…
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35 Types of Post-Racial Racism
Last week, in response to the lynching photo found at a Joe’s Crab Shack in Minnesota, I wrote a piece explaining “post-racial racism” (which has also been referred to as “Chad Crow”—Jim Crow’s laid-back cousin): In post-racial 21st-century America, no one actually wants to admit to being racist. They’ll do racist things, say racist words,…
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Seven Remarkably Simple-Ass And Cheap-Ass Tips For Men Having Trouble Meeting Women
There have been a few pieces on VSB recently that some of our readers felt were kinda hard on and/or insensitive to “good guys” who legitimately have trouble meeting and interacting with women. Namely, Panama Jackson’s “Dear Black Men:Black Women Always (Always!) Show Up To Events. Why Don’t You?” and a piece I wrote Tuesday…
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By Nominating Merrick Garland, President Obama Is Trolling Republicans The Way Parents Troll Kids
I forgot exactly what led to it. Maybe I was told to go to bed a bit earlier than I wanted to. Maybe I wasn’t allowed to bring my Hasbro-made Millennium Falcon replica in the bathtub. And maybe I got in trouble (again) for peeing on the neighbor’s dog (again). (Don’t ask.) Either way, I…
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Ben Carson Endorsed Donald Trump for a Job, Which Is One of the Blackest Things He’s Ever Done
You can say many things about Ben Carson, the back-ordered, decaffeinated coffee machine who recently dropped out of the presidential race. Iconic surgeon. Popeyes enthusiast. Vigilante. Black History Month book-report muse. Delusional motherf—ker. But one thing you cannot do is doubt his blackness bona fides. Yes, his actual politics, if enacted, would have put America back to 1953.…
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Why Some Men Are So Damn Upset About Ciara’s Relationship With Russell Wilson, Explained
Who is Ciara? You ever watch Step Up or any other movie made in the last decade featuring unrealistically competitive street dance tournaments? You know, the movies where dance-offs inexplicability result in stabbings, shootings, and random appearances from a seasoned Omarion? Well, there’s an 87% chance Ciara was somehow featured on the songs the people…
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Ben Carson Endorsed Trump For A Job Hook-Up, Which Reminds Us Ben Carson Is Black As Fuck
You can say many things about Ben Carson, the backordered decaffeinated coffee machine who recently dropped out of the presidential race. Iconic surgeon. Popeyes enthusiast. Vigilante. Black History Month book report muse. Delusional motherfucker. But one thing you cannot do is doubt his Blackness bonafides. Yes, his actual politics, if enacted, would have put America back to 1953.…
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10 Things Elise Neal Looks Like Today, On Her 50th (!!!) Birthday
Elise Neal turned 50 today. Pictured below are pictures of 50-year-old Elise Neal. Today is Elise Neal’s birthday. Which means she was born 50 years ago. Here are some things that Elise Neal, who is 50 years old today, looks like. 1. The first 80 degree day of the year in Pittsburgh. (And yes, it…
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Dear White People: Donald Trump Is Happening Because You're Scared Of Black People, So Don't Be!
Both Donald Trump and Trump supporters seem to be perplexed that a campaign full of unambiguous antagonism towards people who don’t happen to be White has created the type of climate where what happened in Chicago last weekend happens. Which is like someone who happens to be lactose intolerant drinking an Oreo shake and then…
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Ciara And Russell Wilson Are Engaged Now And I Have 10 Important Thoughts About What This Means
Earlier today, perpetual Everest College Twitter discussion prompt Ciara revealed that Russell Wilson proposed to her. Considering Ciara’s status as a woman who was in a relationship before Russell Wilson and had a child with the person she was in the relationship with, and Russell Wilson’s status as a person with (presumably) amazing credit and…
