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Trump Walks Out to ‘Live and Let Die,’ Says He’s Willing to Lose Some Lives to Save the Economy
Because the president couldn’t stay his orange ass in the White House any longer, he left Tuesday to visit a factory in Phoenix, Ariz., that makes N95 masks, and for some reason—maybe foreshadowing; definitely foreshadowing—Guns ‘N Roses’ “Live and Let Die” blared through the speakers. When I say it was bizarre, that’s an understatement. It…
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Ousted Vaccine Scientist Files Whistleblower Complaint, Claims Trump Administration Ignored Coronavirus Warnings
Rick Bright, the ousted director of the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA), has filed a whistleblower complaint with the U.S. Office of Special Counsel, noting that he was demoted after refusing to promote the use of hydroxychloroquine to treat COVID-19 patients. According to NPR, Bright, a “high-ranking federal scientist focused on vaccine development…
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Trump Is a Fuckboi and Fauci Is the Homie Who’s About to Expose His Lying Ass
Back in my fuckboi days, when I had like four girlfriends, I used to do a move I called, “divide and keep dividing.” It looked like this: I would tell one girlfriend a lie and then I had to keep her away from anyone else who could tell her the truth because that would fuck…
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George Conway Video Places Coronavirus Mishaps on Trump; President Calls Him 'Moonface' in Twitter Rage
White House counselor Kellyanne Conway is Trump’s mouthpiece. She is a news outlet favorite because she can spin any Trump fuckup into a beautiful word salad of bullshit. It’s truly a skill. George T. Conway III is a prominent attorney and arguably Trump’s biggest adversary. He constantly trolls Trump on Twitter. He even co-founded a…
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Former NJ Gov. Chris Christie Wants to Reopen Country, Says People Die Everyday, B.
Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the man who once closed a beach because of a state government shutdown and then took his ass to that closed beach to chill, said Monday that the country is going to lose a few people to the coronavirus but it needs to reopen anyway. “Of course, everybody wants…
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Trump Claims He’s Been Treated Worse Than President Who Was Assassinated
Trump brings out the “ass” in “assassinated.” Sitting outside the Lincoln Memorial—which, for those who’ve never seen it, is a big-ass statue of Lincoln sitting in a chair looking out with a facial expression that says, “You better not lie on my good name”—Trump claimed that he’s been treated worse than the president who was…
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And Now We Know Where Karens Come From: The Root Examines Kids' Obama Blackface Dance Routine
Karens are a unique breed. They can usually be spotted in head-to-toe Gap clothing drinking a pumpkin-flavored beverage. What’s most noticeable is the larger-than-normal pointer finger which is always ready to dial 9-1-1. They are usually unable to speak to sales associates and often can only communicate with managers. They are strong, but their collective…
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Vice President's Staff Threaten Retaliation Against Reporter for Tweeting About Pence’s Mask Off Antics
Vice President Pence’s office isn’t a fan of the truth, or at least the truth being leaked over Twitter, so now they’re threatening retaliation against a reporter who tweeted that Pence’s people told journalists to wear a mask during a recent visit to the Mayo Clinic, even though the vice president was going full mask…
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For the First Time in a Year, the White House Press Secretary Is Going to Speak, and It’s Going to Be a Disaster
Before the Trumps took over the White House and parked a broken-down Chevy pickup, trampoline and inflatable swimming pool on the front lawn, there used to be regularly scheduled press briefings. But the president is a liar, and as the White House press secretary, I’d imagine it’s hard to explain the president’s lies when staring…
