-
GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President
Thank you, President Trump for raising the sun this morning and keeping my car console fully stocked with throw-away masks. Thank you for the Supreme restock on the Air Force 1s, and thank you for Starbucks unlimited supply of chocolate croissants. And since we are thanking Trump for shit he had nothing to do with,…
-
White Nationalist President to Veto Defense Bill if Military Bases Don’t Keep Confederate Names
Temporary President Trump is on his fuckshit again. Since he didn’t win the election, and it’s looking like he can’t steal the election, he’s now threatening to veto legislation to fund the military unless military bases continue to honor Confederate military leaders. The president is a fucking disaster. I mean, there’s a bipartisan movement to…
-
Biden Names Woman to Lead Intelligence and Latino to Lead Department of Homeland Security
President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr. isn’t waiting on Trump to hand him the reins. In fact, he’s moving on with his top national security picks. On Tuesday, his transition office noted that Biden plans to name “the first Latino to lead the Department of Homeland Security, the first woman to head the intelligence community and…
-
GTFOH Trump Watch: Trump Released the Kraken. Turns Out the Kraken Was Sidney Powell
Imagine this: You are a lawyer and your potential client wants to file lawsuits against multiple states alleging imaginary crimes. Literally, crimes no one can see. There is no proof, no receipts, no video, Maury isn’t there, Tekashi 6ix9ine isn’t there—literally nothing to prove your potential client’s case. But he’s got two things that work…
-
We See You, COVID-19. We See You
There are really only two kinds of people in this world: Those of us who wear masks, practice social distancing and stay inside as much as possible, and assholes. Or Republicans. Same thing, really. As such, Republican states and Republican operatives are basically breeding grounds for COVID-19. So it is with a heavy heart that…
-
Tucker Carlson Asked a Trump Campaign Lawyer for Proof and That’s When She Shut Him Down
It isn’t like hot windbag and white hotep—he even wears bowties—Tucker Carlson to want proof before spouting out wild conspiracy theories in support of his president for life, Donald Trump. So maybe that’s what scared Trump campaign attorney Sidney Powell from appearing on Carlson’s show, Bedroom Time with Baby, on Republican OnlyFans, Fox News. Carlson…
-
GTFOH Trump Watch: So Y’all Just Going to Steal the Election Right in Front of Us?
President Trump lost the election. Full stop. Since losing the election, which he lost, the president has baselessly claimed massive voter fraud and then failed to provide any evidence. His lawyers have filed lawsuits that have been thrown out almost as soon as they arrive in the courts. Now, the president is just openly courting…
-
Either Rudy Giuliani Uses Bigen, or His Human Skin Glue Is Melting. Either Way, I've Got Questions
Trump’s personal lawyer is having a rough go at it. Not only is he grossly incompetent at living, breathing and doing his job, but now it seems that either his hair dye or his human skin mask given to all Gremlins who want to live a normal life is failing him. During a press conference…
-
Congress Doesn’t Give AF About America
Here is where we are: America is drowning in a sea of despair and Congress is holding all the life jackets. Instead of reaching a stimulus compromise that would help some stay afloat, they are going on Thanksgiving vacation while, in Texas, many are forced to join miles long food lines just to have something…
-
GTFOH Trump Watch: Hey, Wisconsin, I’ve Got $3 Million. Can We Put the Vote Count on Layaway?
After being informed that Wisconsin didn’t have time for Trump and his mall lawyers’ fuckshit and that if he wanted the state to hold a recount it would cost a cool $8 million, Trump’s campaign has come up with a partial payment in hopes of a partial recount. According to Forbes, Trump’s campaign squirreled together…
