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Trump Is the Boyfriend Who Can’t Stop Talking About His Old Girlfriend
President Donald Trump hasn’t accepted that his relationship with Celebrity Apprentice is over. He can’t accept that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the new boss with a new catchphrase. He also can’t deal with the fact that his old flame has moved on without him even though his new bae, the presidency of the United States of…
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Trump Administration Modifies Sanctions With Our Play Cousin Russia
The Trump administration has loosened sanctions on America’s new play cousin on our fascist father’s side. That’s right—the Treasury Department announced Thursday a modification of sanctions put in place by the Obama administration after intelligence agencies determined that it was involved in cyberattacks to meddle with the U.S. elections in November, CNBC reports. And now…
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President Pee-Pee’s Supreme Court Pick Started a Fascism Club in High School
So it turns out that back when Judge Neil Gorsuch—you know, President Pee-Pee’s nominee for the Supreme Court—was just a high school student, he founded the Fascism Forever Club. First off, what a dork. Second, really?! The 49-year-old nerd started the club as a freshman at the über-expensive elite Georgetown Preparatory School near Washington, D.C.,…
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Donald Trump Hates Muslims (Old Kanye Voice)
Let’s recap: First Donald Trump’s administration issues a Muslim ban, which they don’t want called a ban, but the president and his lackey Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer have both called it a ban. The ban stops people from seven predominantly Muslim countries from coming to the U.S. Now comes the news that the Department of…
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Evil Voltron Is Almost Complete as Senate Panel Confirms Jeff Sessions
The movement to form evil Voltron is almost complete as Sen. Jeff Sessions’ (R -Ala.) nomination to become U.S. attorney general was approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee along party lines, 11-9. According to NBC News, the panel put up a good fight, but in the end evil prevailed, as it tends to do with…
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Trump on Black History Month: Where Frederick Douglass At? I See You, Baby!
President Donald Trump was surrounded by all his blacks on Wednesday. That’s right; Omarosa Manigault and Ben Carson were there to hear Trump shout out Frederick Douglass like he was a new artist coming out on Trump Records, during what I believe was supposed to constitute some form of Black History Month appreciation. “Frederick Douglass…
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Charles Barkley to His ‘Stepdad’: I Don’t Care What You Say, Bron-Bron
Charles Barkley doesn’t want to be friends with stepfather LeBron James. In fact, he doesn’t care that James hopped on the Google and found out all of his misfortunes as a player. When asked about James’ recent receipt-laced tirade, Barkley laughed it off. “I was laughing; clearly he did some homework … he Googled me…
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Don’t Let Trump’s America Shame You From Ordering the Fried-Chicken Taco
My sister called me once from her car parked right outside a company picnic. “Stevie,” she said, exasperated. “I almost ate watermelon in front of my co-workers.” She need say no more. My sister is the one in the family who got in trouble for eating a white-bread sandwich on the front porch. My mother…
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Sean ‘Spicy Facts’ Spicer Gets in Heavy Fuss-Fight With the Press
White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer is so out of his depth, it’s amazing to watch. On Tuesday, Spicy Facts found himself knee-deep in a tense conversation with members of the press corps over a tweet sent out by the tweeter-in-chief. On Monday, President Donald Trump tweeted: I know it’s difficult, but ignore…
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Ex- NBA Guard Derek Fisher Can’t Stop Taking Losses
Derek Fisher now has more losses than his former team the New York Knicks. Since leaving the NBA, the former guard has been fired as head coach of the Knicks and been beaten up by the world’s skinniest bully, Matt Barnes. Now all five of his championship rings—the rings he earned playing Kobe and Shaq…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
