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Md. Becomes 1st State to Fund Planned Parenthood if Feds Cut Funding
Without the support of its governor, Maryland has become the first state to decide to make up the funds should there be any federal cuts to Planned Parenthood. Republican Gov. Larry Hogan did not sign the bill, but nor did he veto it, and so the bill, which would allow women to have comprehensive health…
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Neil Gorsuch Confirmed to Supreme Court After GOP Changed Playing Field
After the Republicans adjusted the rules in their favor, the Senate voted Friday to confirm Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. Gorsuch, 49, will become the 113th justice to the highest court in the land and will serve a lifetime appointment, which means he’ll be messing shit up for possibly the next 30-40 years. The…
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A Conspiracy Theorist’s Guide to the US Attack on Syria
This lying-ass administration will make a conspiracy theorist out of the best of us. Because I don’t believe anything that anyone representing President Vladimir TrumPutin has to say, when word came out that the U.S. had bombed Syria, I was immediately skeptical. Sure, I’d seen the heartbreaking photos of children being killed in a reported…
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Twitter Rejoices After Learning ESPN Analyst Sage Steele Is Out
ESPN analyst Sage Steele’s invite to the cookout has long been rescinded, and now her job as host of NBA Countdown on ABC and ESPN has come to an end. With the playoffs just around the corner, Steele will be replaced by Michelle Beadle, the co-host of SportsNation, who is expected to host the pregame…
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Watch: Floyd Mayweather Jr. Goes Full Cheerleader Mom After His Daughter’s Team Takes 2nd Place
Floyd Mayweather Jr. has retired from boxing, at least for now, but that doesn’t mean youth-cheerleading judges can’t catch these hands. It all went down like this: Mayweather was attending the Jamz Cheer and Dance competition in Irvine, Calif., on Sunday, according to TMZ Sports, to watch his 12-year-old daughter’s team compete. When he learned…
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Life Comes at You Fast: Trump Voters Mad That Border Wall Would Put Their Homes on Mexican Side
When you live under the rule of a dictator, even one that you helped vote into office, you can forget that you live in a dictatorship. I know it’s cool as long as all the weight of his office falls on people who don’t look like you, but what about when you get swept up…
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Georgetown Hires Patrick Ewing as Head Basketball Coach, and That Was the Right Thing to Do
It’s about time Patrick Ewing became a head basketball coach. According to several reports, Ewing will take over the head coaching responsibilities at Georgetown University, where he played in the ’80s. The position of coach was left vacant after John Thompson III, son of Ewing’s former coach John Thompson Jr., was fired. The nepotism of…
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President TrumPutin Believes He Saved Us From Trumpcare Because He Doesn’t Lose
If you believe that the House of Representatives stopped the utterly impossible and completely asinine Trumpcare bill, then you are wrong, my friends. Because America’s Emperor TrumPutin doesn’t take L’s, he now claims that the reason it never went to a vote is that he pulled it, because he’s an oracle. “I didn’t want to…
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Fox News Is Basically the 45th President of the United States
On Thursday, news broke late that former national security adviser Michael Flynn was seeking an immunity deal in exchange for some juicy bits about Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia. On Friday, President Tiny Twitter Fingers was back at it, tweeting: It would’ve been nice if this were an independent thought, but that would require a…
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It’s Time for the Trump Administration to Get Hillary Clinton’s Name Out of Their Mouths
While we don’t know if Hillary Clinton lost fair and square to President Vladimir TrumPutin, we do know that she lost, and as it stands, the former secretary of state did not win the presidency and does not hold a current position in TrumPutin’s regime. So TrumPutin’s administration really needs to stop dragging her name…

