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Biden to Wait Until Cuomo’s Investigation Is Over, Won’t Call on Him to Resign
President Joe Biden doesn’t want to rush to judgment despite mounds of accusations, a photo, and seven women claiming that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo sexually harassed them—and don’t even get me started with the claims that Cuomo and his staff mishandled COVID-19 deaths in nursing homes. “I think the investigation is underway and we…
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Florida Sen. Rick Scott to Governors: Don’t Accept Stimulus Money
It’s said that on the ninth day of creation, God got hungry and because it was late, the only thing open was a 7-Eleven, and God was forced to eat day-old taquitos, which made him vomit and thus, Florida was born. Florida, the ass pimple of America, continues to remind the world that they love…
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NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo to Face Impeachment Investigation; Congressional Delegation Calls on Him to Resign
The New York state assembly speaker has authorized an impeachment investigation into embattled New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who knows good and damn well he should step his ass down. According to CBS News “New York State Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie said he authorized the Assembly Judiciary Committee to begin the investigation, which he said…
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Can Someone Get The Door? The Stimmys Are Here!
In what can only be called the most glorious day since Simba flipped Scar off that fiery mountain only to leave him to the wild hyenas, the House on Wednesday passed the $1.9 trillion COVID-19 relief package, which will include money to reopen schools, ramp up vaccine distribution and, most importantly, Target trips. By a…
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Another Woman Has Accused Andrew Cuomo of Sexual Harassment, Bringing the Total to 6: Report
It’s Wednesday, so you know that means another woman has come out to accuse New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo of sexual harassment. This now makes six women who have accused the embattled governor of being a creepy old man who has allegedly said wildly inappropriate shit, invaded personal space and reportedly tried to kiss one…
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President Biden’s Dogs Are Republican, Get Kicked Out of White House After Incident
President Biden and first lady Jill Biden have two dogs, Champ and Major. Both dogs are stuck in their ways and prefer the life they had before Biden became president. While I don’t speak dog, I believe that both Champ and Major both voted against the COVID-19 relief bill and supported the insurrection on the…
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Black Farmers Finally Get Plentiful Harvest as COVID-19 Bill Includes $5 Billion in Relief
It’s a miracle that Black farmers have made it this long when you consider that for over 100 years, they’ve faced discrimination from the US Department of Agriculture and were largely excluded from federal loans and farm improvement initiatives. But the enduring seeds of hard work and faith have finally come to bloom, as the…
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Everything You Need to Know About Your Stimmy
Because there has been so much fuckshit involving the latest stimulus relief bill, let me get you up to speed as quickly as possible. The House of Representatives is like the Trap. These niggas have been down since the beginning and have been working to take care of as many people as possible. That’s because…
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2 More Women Accuse Andrew Cuomo of Sexual Harassment, and He Still Won’t Resign
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo apparently has trouble reading the room. Two more women have come out claiming that the governor sexually harassed them, bringing the total number of reported victims to Cuomo’s unwanted advances to five, which is one more than four and one less than six. Five. The same number of fingers on…
