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Trump Wants Marshawn Lynch Suspended and LaVar Ball’s Middle Child Thrown in Jail Because He’s Messy
President Ludwig von FuckFace will not stop wading in the petty pool. In fact, if we wanted a messy president who lives for drama, then the right person is in office. Over the weekend, President ShitBag von LittleFingers got all butt-hurt after LaVar Ball refused to acknowledge the president’s role in assisting in the release…
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Marshawn Lynch Only Stood During the Mexican Anthem Because He’s the Black Honey Badger and No One Can Stop Him
There was a man who tried to tell Marshawn Lynch what to do. That man is no longer with us. Because no one—I repeat, no one—tells Marshawn Lynch what to do. On Sunday, the Oakland Raiders were taking on the New England Patriots in Azteca Stadium in Mexico City, and the Raiders running back sat…
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Trump Claims to Have Spoken to the President of the US Virgin Islands Because He Doesn’t Know He’s the President of the US Virgin Islands
President Donald Trump is not a bright man. In fact, he might the dumbest man in the room—all of the rooms—because he doesn’t know that he’s dumb. In his mind, he’s smart and everyone else is slow. President Trump is also a liar. And he might be the worst kind of liar, because he actually…
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Trump Just Signed an Executive Order Crippling Obamacare
The president of undoing former President Barack Obama’s legacy is back on his bullshit, signing an executive order Thursday to undo portions of Obamacare because he and his lame crew can’t present a decent health care plan that makes sense. Trump claimed that the order is “starting that process” to repeal the Affordable Care Act…
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I’m About to Be a Father to a Black Boy and I’m Scared to Death for Him (and Me)
My wife and I had gone to the doctor’s for a routine appointment. We weren’t married then; in fact, we weren’t even engaged, but we were ready for a baby. We had a name. We’d gone to Target and purchased a pair of crocheted bunny ears and a rubber duck that can tell the bath…
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Dallas Cowboys Players Meet With Jerry Jones Over His Claims That Any Player Who Protests Will be Benched
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones came out strong against the protests for black lives when he announced that any Cowboys player who kneels during the national anthem will be benched. Some Cowboys players were shocked to hear that their owner, who not only donated $1 million to Donald Trump’s campaign but also considers the president…
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Trump Threatens to Revoke NBC’s License Because He’s a Dick Who Wants Desperately to Be a Dictator
It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means: President Lucas von LittleFingers is tweeting again about some shit that he can’t do but could if he were the president of North Korea and not the United States. Because the president doesn’t understand how any of this works, he took to Twitter to threaten to revoke…
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Steve Scalise Was an Asshole Before He Got Shot. Now He’s Just an Asshole With a Bad Hip
In the early morning of June 14, 2017, several Congress members who would be participating in a Congressional Baseball Game the following day met up at Eugene Simpson Stadium Park in Alexandria, Va., just across the Potomac River, to get in one last practice. What none of the 20 or so congressional staffers in attendance…
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Michael Jordan Donates $7,000,000 to Open Medical Clinics in Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan, 54, who was known to play a little roundball in his heyday, is stepping up his philanthropy game by donating $7 million to launch medical clinics for poor communities in Charlotte, N.C. “Through my years of working with Novant Health, I have been impressed with their approach and their commitment…
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Mike Ditka Doesn’t See Black Oppression, but He Wants NFL Protesters to See Their Way Out of His Country
Former NFL coach Mike Ditka has never been an ally in the struggle of African Americans—he just coached black players—but he’s a bigot nonetheless. Never forget that for every edition of the cover of ESPN’s magazine showing then-New Orleans Saints coach Ditka posing as the unhappy groom next to running back Ricky Williams is another…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
