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Sean 'Spicy Facts' Spicer Is Still Trash
We were rooting for you! (Tyra Banks voice.) Fine, none of us were rooting for former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, but the hope, I guess, is that once he left the horrid Trump administration he’d finally admit that he was a lying ass liar and that he’s changed his ways. Welp, that ain’t…
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N-Word-Shouting Georgia State Lawmaker Jason Spencer Resigns
After you’ve eaten a fake penis, shouted “nigger” at the top of your lungs, mocked Asians and bared you’re unseasoned ass to the world, what’s left? For Georgia State Rep. Jason Spencer, it seemed like the only respectable move here was to resign, so that’s what he did Tuesday night. Spencer really left his mark…
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Trump Is Guilty Tweeting This Morning After Michael Cohen Tape Reveals Him Discussing Payment to Side Bae
President Donald Trump isn’t claiming that he didn’t have an affair with ex-former Playboy playmate Karen McDougal (noting that you are a former Playboy playmates is the equivalent of noting that you were third trumpet in your elementary school marching band), at least not this morning. He’s using all his old-man vitriol to blast his…
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Does Sarah Huckabee Sanders Have One Foot Out the White House Door and the Other on a Banana Peel?
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’, aka Suckabee, aka Big Aunt Lydia, aka the Devil’s Mouthpiece, days are numbered, and at this point, it’s just a matter of when. I study the White House, and I also grew up in a dysfunctional family so I know when someone is on the outs and Suckabee…
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Cowboys Defensive End Tyrone Crawford Isn't Happy With His 'Humpty-Dumpty' Body in Madden 19
It isn’t unusual for real-life, professional athletes to have an issue with their virtual images on games like NBA Live and Madden. But Dallas Cowboys defensive end Tyrone Crawford doesn’t care how fast his in-game player is, he’s pissed that EA Sports did him dirty when capturing his physique in Madden 19. Crawford took a…
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Attorney General Jeff 'King Keebler' Sessions Joins High Schoolers in 'Lock Her Up' Chant
Every story surrounding Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions is an attempt to move the country further away from the fact that the man runs an operation that MAKES COOKIES IN A FUCKING TREE! At some point, it would do the America justice to focus on the health regulations that have to be violated with…
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It's About to Go Down: FBI Seized 12 Tapes During Michael Cohen Raid
Bitch! The FBI didn’t just seize one tape that happened to have Donald Trump’s voice on it discussing the possibility of paying off former Playboy playmate (which feels like the equivalent of saying former high school junior varsity standout) Karen McDougal, they seized 12 tapes! Count them with me. One, two, three, four … a…
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Petty President: Trump Looking to Remove Security Clearances From Ex-Officials Critical of His Administration
Devil’s mouthpiece, Sarah Huckabee Sanders aka “Suckabee,” dropped a bombshell during what was supposed to be a routine press briefing when she announced that the president of the United States is looking into pulling the security clearances of several former Obama administration officials including former Director of National Intelligence John Brennan, former FBI Director James…
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The Senile Old Man in the White House Is Going to All-Cap Tweet Us Into a War With Iran
If these boisterous threats are true, this might be the first time in American history that the President of the United States has tweeted us into a war. Late Sunday evening the fake president and very real reality star decided to issue a furious all-caps tweet to Iran. First off, what the fuck was the…
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GOP Lawmaker Who Showed His Ass (Literally), and Screams the N-Word Claims He's Not a Racist
Georgia State Rep. Jason Spencer has been trash. During a push to end Confederate legacy statues that permeate the South as iconic images of the lost bastion of racist, white supremacy of yore, Spencer told LaDawn Blackett Jones, a former colleague of his in the Georgia Legislature, that if “North Georgia” Democrats like Jones kept…
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