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On Loneliness at 3 A.M. in Lagos
It was 3 a.m. in Onikan, a suburb of Lagos. The street below her window was uncharacteristically quiet. In the distance, she could hear the faint thump of a bass-line and the strained, faint chorus of afrobeat. She listened for the shrieks of laughter and enjoyment coming from the building down the road. In the…
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No Shame: Me, Mariah and Bipolar Disorder
I’m not ashamed to say that I cried. This morning, I woke before the sun—both the one outside my window and the healing sunlight alarm clock a good friend gifted me. This clock removes the cruel and jarring alarm sounds in favor of a gentle, artificial dawning that mimics the rising sun. It’s been unbelievably…
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Breaking Up With Social Media Is an Act of Self-Care
I deactivated my Twitter and Facebook three months ago. I told myself it was because I needed to concentrate on writing, and social media provided too many opportunities to distract and distance myself from the work. I’m compulsive and obsessive by nature, so once I’m into something, it takes a lot of work not to…
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5 Apps to Make Your 2018 More Productive and Stress-Free
Many people look for different ways to minimize the time they spend on their devices, but for those of us who manage mental illness or mood disorders, “adulting” can be particularly overwhelming sometimes. Over the last few years, I’ve found a few apps that help me get through things. The apps listed below can help…
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Taxicab Confessions: On Being Friendly When You Can’t Be Bothered
The new World Trade Center in all its grotesque, sanitized and bleached whiteness still makes me a bit sick. I remember the towers before the planes hit; I remember the smoke and grief that wafted into Brooklyn after they fell. So this new whale carcass filled with high-end stores and corny tourist attractions turns my…
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It’s Complicated
Last week I watched Demi Lovato’s YouTube documentary, Simply Complicated, chronicling her well-publicized drug problem and eventual bipolar diagnosis. I remember when Demi first went public after a tabloid-filled meltdown; I was impressed by how she never hid behind the veil of “exhaustion” or tried to act as if it never happened (I’m looking at…
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From Hallmark to the Royal Family: Why Made-for-TV Movies Are the Break From Reality We All Need
Terrible made-for-TV movies are my anti-drug and have been since I was a child. Back then they were often called “Movies of the Week” and were usually based on true stories. The “based on a true story” tag was used liberally because often that just meant, “Once there was a person who lived in a…
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And They Say Chi City …
Some people just aren’t built to be rock stars. The big audiences, the grueling travel, the long stretches away from home, living out of suitcases and a new city almost every night … it takes a lot out of the most stable among us. In the early 2000s, I was touring with the national company…
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Dirty, Pretty Things
Often, after an intense therapy appointment, instead of sitting in my car, folded across the steering wheel before I have the strength to face the rest of the day, I make a detour to the T.J. Maxx on the way home. I don’t always buy anything; I just wander the racks and flip through organized…
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Sometimes, Staying Woke Means Staying Away
Waking up to tragedies of some measure has become the norm over the years. Lately it feels as if every day there’s another hashtag created to expose our worst fears or break what’s left of our hearts. I wasn’t clear on what had happened; all I saw were the hashtags floating down the page. My…