Donald Trump is a cheater. He cheated his way out of Vietnam. He’s cheated his way into business loans. He cheated his way into the White House. So learning that President Donald Trump cheats about his golf game is like learning that Browns wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. enjoys dancing, as that nigga dances more than he plays football.
A new book, Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump, sportswriter Rick Reilly looks at how badly this blubbering bag of dog shit cheats at golf. According to Reilly, Trump “cheats at the highest level. He cheats when people are watching and he cheats when they aren’t. He cheats whether you like it or not. He cheats because that’s how he plays golf…if you’re playing golf with him, he’s going to cheat.”
“To say ‘Donald Trump cheats’ is like saying ‘Michael Phelps swims,’” writes Reilly, who spoke with several people who’ve played golf with his cheating ass. According to a copy of the book obtained by the New York Post before it hits stores Tuesday.
From NY mag:
Trump claims he has a 2.8 handicap, the sliding scale used among amateur golfers that would help a pair of varying talent to compete with each other. Like his height, Trump’s self-reported handicap of 2.8–the lower the number the better – is probably a little off. As the Post notes, “Jack Nicklaus, winner of a record 18 major golf titles and generally considered the greatest golfer in the history of the game, has a handicap of 3.4.”
Shortly after his inauguration, Trump went out with Tiger Woods, current PGA leader Dustin Johnson and veteran Brad Faxon. Faxon recalled that Trump hit a shot into a water hazard, then pulled out another ball when he thought no one was looking. That do-over shot also wound up in the water. Boxer Oscar De La Hoya, actor Samuel Jackson, and glam rock star Alice Cooper also told Reilly that Trump can’t help but cheat. Jackson, who aired Trump’s golf habits during the campaign, told Reilly that “he clearly saw [Trump] hook a ball into a lake … and his caddy told him he found it!” LGPA pro Suzann Pettersen says that Trump must collude with his caddy ahead of time, for “no matter how far into the woods he hits the ball, it’s in the middle of the fairway when we get there.” The president also allegedly tampers with the game of others in his party: former ESPN football announcer Mike Tirico recalled that Trump’s caddy told him that Trump took a ball Tirico hit onto the putting green and threw it 50 feet away into a bunker.
Trump lies about everything. He lied about being his own press person when he was trying to hype up his life. He lied about being fully exonerated in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation. He lied about being a business man, when really he just inherited property and money from his father. And he’s lying about a Civil War battle that he claimed happened on one of his resorts in Virginia.
Apparently, there is a plaque between the 14th and 15th holes that commemorates the lives lost during a Civil War battle that never happened.
Because Trump is an overgrown toddler, not only does he lie about everything, he plays the sport and doesn’t even follow the etiquette of golf. He drives onto the putting green, a major faux pas since driving on the putting greens can fuck up the grass. He also doesn’t take his hat off inside the clubhouse.
NY mag notes that the president has been working on his lying quite a bit, as he always seems to be golfing. Since his inauguration, Trump has golfed 178 times.
Basically the president is a liar who likes to golf, and when he’s golfing he likes to cheat, which basically means that the president is a lying cheater who plays golf a lot and lies and cheats.
DISCUSSION
I’m inclined to think his handicap is at least 3.