1. Zero fucks
Suggested Reading
2. Nil fucks
3. Nan fucks
4. Zot fucks
5. Zip fucks
6. Nada fucks
7. Void fucks
8. Zilch fucks
9. Squat fucks
10. A negative fuck
11. A fuck that exists on an event horizon, which means it doesn’t really exist, at least not with the properties that we’ve come to understand fucks to possess
12. Naught fucks
13. A lonely and angry fuck that claims no one wanted it in high school and now uses those memories as its justification to exclusively date outside of its race
14. A free-trial-period fuck I plan to discontinue once I’m asked to purchase a subscription
15. The amount of fucks, generally, that black men over 68 and named “Albert” or “Frank” give
16. A fuck in a vacuum
17. An embargoed fuck
18. A redacted fuck
19. Perhaps, if feeling particularly magnanimous and kind, a one-time and short-lived pity fuck that I immediately regret once it’s been distributed
20. The amount of fucks that the law enforcement officers in Illinois who are arguing to keep weed illegal to keep police dogs employed give about black lives, which is also zero
Straight From 
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