Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude

Very Smart Brothas

Very Smart Brothas

10 Completely Separate Times Nia Long Proved She's The Best And Baddest Actress Who Ever Lived

According to several sources, Nia Long, the baddest actress who has ever lived, is apparently engaged to long-time boyfriend Ime Udoka. I am happy about this. Because, by doing things like “existing” and “sitting while appearing on screen,” Nia Long has been making me happy for over 20 years. So being happy about her happiness…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 28, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

Why The "Grown-Ass Black Man With Cornrows" Is The Greatest Hairstyle Ever

1. Because aside from being… A) an inmate B) a grip on a porno set C) a gang member in LA (and only in LA) D) a pimp in a randomly bizarre location like Sioux Falls, SD, Punxsutawney, PA, or Saturn E) a light skinneded daytime TV star in a Tyler Perry movie …there’s no valid…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 28, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

Poignant-Ass Simple Shit My Mom Used To Say To Me, Ranked

(My mom grew up on a farm and has 13 siblings. I love her.) 10. “I don’t know them people.” This was usually stated when I asked her to sleep over at a new friend’s house. The answer was always no, but she told me that my friends could sleep over at our place any…

By

Vontilla Steven

Published

May 27, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

I'm Thinking About Getting Rid Of My Physical Music Collection. Hold Me.

I own a lot of CDs. You remember those things, don’t you? After the cassette tape and before Apple changed the music game, CDs were what was hot on the streets. I still remember my first few purchases. After seeing the movie Juice, I talked my dad into buying me Cypress Hill’s debut album. Then…

By

Panama Jackson

Published

May 27, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

Great Job Cavs!!! But Still, Fuck Dan Gilbert Today; Fuck Dan Gilbert Tomorrow; Fuck Dan Gilbert Forever

#neverforget

By

Damon Young

Published

May 26, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

There Are Many Perfectly Valid Reasons To Hate Jay Z. Tidal, However, Isn't One Of Them

1. As a young man, Jay Z spent an indeterminate amount of time dealing crack cocaine in the neighborhood he grew up in. 2. He was so good at dealing crack that he managed to make a small fortune from it and elude any serious legal consequences. 3. He left selling crack behind completely, instead…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 26, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

Foods Your Bitch Ass Better Not Bring To A Memorial Day Cookout

1. Tossed salad Because no one — not even the fire ants and mosquitoes sharing an all-inclusive buffet on your ashy ankles — wants to eat your soggy-ass, lettuce the color of beef and broccoli Timberlands-ass, tossed salad at a fucking cookout. 2. Tuna salad The only thing shittier than your StarKist and mayonnaise and macaroni after…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 25, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

Five Things Having A Pregnant Wife Has Taught Me

1. Look, I get it. Pretty much every living thing you see — humans, birds, gnats, plants, Zetas, etc — can reproduce. And when something can be done by everything that shares any type of biological connection to you, it’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I didn’t go around all excited and…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 22, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

5 Of The Blackest Hip-Hop Albums Ever Released

You know how every so often the alleged literati (I say alleged because the literati meeting place [Facebook] is filled with ignoramuses of the highest order) of the Black community get into a pseudo-discussion about what constitutes a Black movie? Is it a Black movie if it has Black people, the back of Forest Whitakers neck,…

By

Panama Jackson

Published

May 21, 2015
Very Smart Brothas

I Am Not Soliciting Prostitutes. I'm Just Walking My Dog. Please Believe Me.

Couple things you need to know before we get started: 1. The Wife Person and I have an 11-year-old pit bull named Mickey. Now, you might not trust me when I tell you Mickey happens to be the nicest, sweetest, and smartest dog I’ve ever met. Because of course a dog owner probably isn’t going…

By

Damon Young

Published

May 21, 2015