wypipo
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Judge of Characters: Wypipo Want Everything We Have, Even Our Oppression
Why are we still talking about who can and cannot say the n-word? White people, please hear me out. There will never be any occasion when you will need to use the n-word, ever. Even if Kendrick Lamar invites you onstage and the only word in the song is “nigga,” don’t say it. Censor yourself…
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Meghan Markle’s White Relatives Are the Messiest of Bitches
Much like my colleague Michael Harriot at The Root, I cannot find a solitary damn to give about the royal wedding. Prior to the news, I, too, had no idea who Meghan Markle was and had no idea there was a show called Suits on the air (but this is less surprising, since I don’t…
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Read This Before Calling the Police: For Wypipo Who Have Considered Cops When Privilege Wasn’t Enough
As one of the world’s foremost wypipologists, I have been tasked with addressing the newfound epidemic of Caucasian cop-summoners that just began trending around … oh, I’m going to say it started in 1619, give or take a few days. That’s correct. None of this shit is new. White people have always loved calling the…
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A Catholic School in Florida Had a Caged Tiger at Its Jungle-Themed Prom and WTF?
Florida strikes again. Like, seriously, the water in the state has to be different, because I am not sure what would possess any school to bring wild animals to its prom. But apparently that’s what happened at Christopher Columbus High School (that name, though) during the Miami private Catholic school’s prom on Friday night. And…
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Top 10 Ways Black People Keep Racism Alive, According to Wypipo
As one of the world’s foremost experts in the field of wypipology, I am constantly searching for ways to translate my studies into real-world applications. Fortunately, there are hundreds of white people who generously take time out of their day to accuse me of being the real racist. These scholars keep in constant contact with…
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Syracuse University Suspends Frat Over Videos Showing ‘Extremely Racist’ Behavior
It’s a day ending in “y,” so there’s yet another fraternity that is showing its whole entire (racist) ass to the universe, this time in video form. On Wednesday, Syracuse University decided to suspend its chapter of Theta Tau after online videos showed members of the frat engaged in behaviors that school Chancellor Kent Syverud…
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Guess Who Thinks Black People Aren’t Trying Hard Enough to Succeed?
That’s a trick question, of course. Basically, the whites are at it again, back at it with another “Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps” story. A recent poll published by YouGov (pdf) on Wednesday (h/t Newsweek) showed that some 40 percent of white Americans think that black people are just not trying hard enough…
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In Peak White Privilege, Nurse Fired for Saying Stephon Clark ‘Deserved’ to Be Killed Raises Over $20,000
A California nurse who was fired from her job after saying that “stupid” Stephon Clark “deserved” to be shot and killed in his grandparents’ backyard has raised more than $20,000 to help her pay her bills. It literally pays to be white, huh? According to the New York Daily News, Faith Linthicum created a GoFundMe…
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Hair-Dryer-Roasted Chicken Wins the 2018 Award for the Whitest Thing on the Internet
In a ceremony televised on Fox News and the Food Network, the New Yorker’s “roving food correspondent” Helen Rosner was awarded the 2018 “I Was Told by AppleCare” prize for Unapologetic Whiteness. In a story titled, “Yes, I Use a Hair Dryer to Make Roast Chicken” (which insinuates that at least one person asked her,…
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Judge of Characters: Colonizers Are Having a Hard Time Stomaching Black Panther’s Success
It’s official: Black Panther is a blockbuster hit, and our feelings will never be done with this film. This movie has emotionally affected us all. While there are many melanated people who are swathed in pride because of Black Panther’s representation and all-out beauty, there are just as many (if not more) melanin-deficient folks who…