white people
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Dean at a University in Virginia Quits After Calling Biden Voters ‘Ignorant, Anti-American’ on Facebook
Facebook really is just an L factory when it comes to white people and maintaining gainful employment. According to a dean at a Virginia university, your boy is “ignorant, anti-American and anti-Christian,” for voting for Biden. Well, unlike that guy, I still have a job so— *Jordan shrug.* Now, the post wasn’t directed entirely at…
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California School Board President Resigns After Wife’s Racist Tweets About Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris
I really don’t understand white people, y’all. Like, how are they out here marrying racists and then being all, “Well, I don’t agree at all with what my partner said, but, you know…” *points at white skin and shrugs* Our latest example of spousal racism takes us to San Francisco, where a school board president…
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Boogaloo Boys Charged With Attempting to Sell Weapons to Overseas Terrorist Organization
Further proving that white people simply won’t let America be great, a group of Boogaloo Boys have been charged with attempting to sell weapons to an overseas terrorist organization. Forbes reports Michael Robert Solomon, 30, and Benjamin Ryan Teeter, 22, have both been charged by the U.S. Department of Justice with “conspiring and attempting to…
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Dear White America: You're Welcome
Dearest all white people, First, I’d like you to note how I included that three-letter modifier when I addressed talking to every single white person—the unsoaped-leg Lauras and the bath cloth-resistant Beckies. Those still lingering in flip-flop season because you barbecued your Nikes and broke a strap on your Birkenstocks boogieing to Jimmy Buffet at…
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Vote Challengers Chant 'Stop the Count' at a Detroit Vote-Counting Facility
Vote challengers erupted in a chant of “stop the count” outside of a vote counting facility in Detroit on Wednesday. The Detroit Free Press reports that police officers had to push back crowds who were demanding they should be allowed in the vote tallying room at the TCF Center. Republicans whined and shouted that they…
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If Trump Loses, Thank Black People. If He Wins, Blame White People
When the dust settles and a winner of the presidential election is declared tomorrow night or some time in 2023, the results will immediately be proceeded by a vast and annoying ecosystem of discourse attempting to find answers, give thanks, and assign blame. Fortunately, we do not have to wait that long to perform those…
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg Could've Died in Peace If White People Were Better People
Propped on the pavement, planted in yards, and sitting on stoops in every block in my neighborhood this morning are kaleidoscopic signs encouraging people to register to vote and reminding us, of course, that Black Lives Matter. I do not know which organization created them. Definitely one of the dozens (hundreds?) targeting Black, and Latino,…
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Jessica Krug, Professor Who Lied About Being Black, Resigns From George Washington University
Jessica Krug, the George Washington University professor who lied about being Black, has resigned from her position. According to CNN, the move comes only a week after the university announced she wouldn’t be teaching classes this semester. “Dr. Krug has resigned her position, effective immediately. Her classes for this semester will be taught by other…