white people shit
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Vote Challengers Chant 'Stop the Count' at a Detroit Vote-Counting Facility
Vote challengers erupted in a chant of “stop the count” outside of a vote counting facility in Detroit on Wednesday. The Detroit Free Press reports that police officers had to push back crowds who were demanding they should be allowed in the vote tallying room at the TCF Center. Republicans whined and shouted that they…
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Dallas School District Issues Apology After Assignment Listed Kenosha Shooter as 'Hero for the Modern Age'
If I’ve learned anything during my time in this job, it’s that white people really be fucking trying it. Take for instance a school in Dallas, Texas, where a teacher listed Kenosha shooter Kyle Rittenhouse as a possible hero for students to write about. NBC News reports that the Dallas Independent School district issued an…
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Sorry, White America, But All Holidays Matter
Today is July 4th, a.k.a Independence Day, a.k.a ID4, according to the seminal 1996 film. A day commemorating when some white dudes won their valiant fight to stop paying taxes to some other group of white dudes. For over 240 years, America has taken to grand fireworks displays, cookouts and a solid run of Will…
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White News Anchors Embarrass Mankind with Their Unseasoned Attempt at Black Slang
One of the cardinal sins of adulthood is embarrassing your kids—especially if they’re teenagers. As an unruly adolescent myself in a past life, I have vivid memories of my mother calling me “Cooch” in front of my friends, or my Dad’s bizarre obsession with 2Pac’s “How Do U Want It” (“That song is bad!” he…
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A Couple Photographed Themselves Having Sex at the Great Pyramid and I Have Questions
A couple who took selfies while engaged in what appears to be a sexual act atop one of the Eight Wonders of the World (my aunt Phyllis’ fried chicken was recently approved by the World Wonder sanctioning body) has sparked international outrage and prompted a necessary question: Why, though? According to the Guardian, Danish photographer…
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This Belly Flop Contest Into a Pool of Mayonnaise Is the Best-Ever Example of ‘That’s Some White-People Shit’
It’s hard to assign an accurate definition for the oft-employed phrase “That’s some white people shit” because, well, the best-possible definition is located within the phrase. “That’s some white people shit” literally means, “That’s some shit so exclusive to whiteness that it deserves its own phrase.” But, also, it’s easier to list things that would…
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If You Ever See What Looks To Be A Dead Possum On The Ground, Leave That Zombie Possum The Fuck Alone
They say that the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans. I generally agree with this; the universe and His intentions for it are too incomprehensible for mortal understanding. But I do know, with one hundred thousand trillion percent certainty, that God’s plan for me does not involve me seeing…
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10 Pitch-Perfect Examples Of "Yeah…That's Some White People Shit" In Jordan Peele's "Get Out"
Couple things: 1. There will be more extensive reviews and conversations about Get Out next week. In fact, next week might just be Get Out week on VSB. (And yes, there is that much to unpack and deconstruct about this movie. It’s fucking brilliant.) 2. I saw it last night. If you haven’t seen it…