theory & essay
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108-Year-Old Richard Overton Drinks Whiskey, Smokes Cigars, And Fought Wars. Our Generation Aint Shit
108-year-old Richard Overton is America’s oldest living veteran. You forgot it was Veteran’s Day. 108-year-old Richard Overton lives in the same house he bought for $4,000 dollars after he returned from World War II. You rent a $2,000 a month shoebox that sits on top of a Qdoba. 108-year-old Richard Overton drinks whiskey everyday. You…
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On Praying Away The Gay
If you haven’t yet seen the video of a “formerly” gay man renouncing homosexuality and declaring that he likes wimenwimenwimenwimen during a church service, take a moment after you’re done reading this to thank me for introducing this to your life. It is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen this year. Part…
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"Nigga" Is A Part Of My Vocabulary. Here's Why
The Washington Post is currently running a comprehensive interactive about the “n-word.” Titled “Redefining the Word,” the feature gives an historical context for why nigga is entrenched in our culture and interviews dozens of people for their thoughts and feelings about the word today. They didn’t interview me. But, if they did, this is what…
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How Much Do You Know About Your Family?
So I have one of those jobs that requires me to do one of those things where every-so-often, I have to query my family for random facts about things I thought I knew but have no earthly idea about. For instance, I have no idea when my mother re-married her current husband (my step-father). I…
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Dear Black People: Stop Spreading The Lie That Music Was "Better" Back In The Day
I have a confession: Every time I hear someone say music “ain’t what it used to be,” my ass itches. I mean this figuratively but you get the picture: This is, IMHO, a top tier bullshit statement — one of many that have somehow become hallowed communal knowledge. We peddle in many generically “truthy” statements…
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Things My Mom Can’t Make Me Do Now That I’m In College
I’ve been observing the changes in my behavior since I’ve been at school and away from home for the first time, and I wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? That sucks because there isn’t one. But there is this list of things my mom can’t make me do anymore. 1. Eat Vegetables For…
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Dressing Vs Stuffing, Decided
I wasn’t even aware that people referred to stuffing as “dressing” until…shit, I don’t know when. Maybe I was 13 or 21 or something. Either way, I’d been on Earth for a while before I ever heard that shit. Apparently, as I learned on VSB yesterday, there are people who had the exact opposite experience.…
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Thanksgiving Foods You Won't Eat Unless You're Absolutely, Positively Sure Of Who Made Them
It’s November. And since it’s November, Thanksgiving — my favorite holiday — is right around the corner. Which means many of us will be traveling to or hosting family soon, and have already started making plans and arrangements. And, while determining things like “Is Uncle Frank bringing his kids?” and “Who’s picking Keisha up from…
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Dear Chris Brown: People Will Get Over You And Rihanna If You Allow Them To Get Over You And Rihanna
Hey Breezy. How are you today? I know you didn’t ask, but I’m doing fine. It was cold as balls last weekend in Pittsburgh, but it seems to be warming up, and I’m enjoying this nice fall day. BTW, why do we say “cold as balls”? Aren’t balls typically warm? I mean, even when it’s…
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The Problem With Girls Like Lena Dunham
There are a lot of reasons not to like Lena Dunham. The way she’s chosen to cast Girls isn’t one of them. Dunham is one of those people most folks either love or hate; she’s seated squarely in the cross hairs of many writers of color. Personally, I don’t really care for her writing, which is…