theory & essay
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4 Simple Life Rules For Living A Simple Life
I try to live my life by a few simple and easy tenets: 1. Never forget that niggas gon’ nig. As fucked up as that maybe, it helps to keep expectations in check when dealing with certain types of people. Expecting anything other than a motherfucker to do exactly what they’ve always shown themselves to…
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I'm In Love With Black People Who Love Being Black People. And Love Black People
It’s not terribly uncommon for me to write and/or publish a piece that deals with race — whether its a satirical quiz about a certain strain of regressive pro-Blackness or a piece from one of our writers about a reality show featuring women not quite sure if they’re Black — and receive feedback that either questions…
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Her Name Was Janese Talton-Jackson. And She Was Killed Because She Said "No"
I did not know Janese Talton-Jackson on a personal level. There’s a chance I might have seen her before. And a lesser chance I might have spoken to her. But if I did either, I don’t remember. But after news of her death began to circulate Facebook Friday afternoon, and more and more people spoke of…
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How Come Nobody Talks About En Vogue Anymore?
I could talk about music incessantly. Like Steve Hightower (of Steve Hightower and the High-Tops fame), music is my one true love. Or at the very least, my first love. I used to steal tapes. I remember my first CD purchase. I’ve had full fledge arguments with friends that nearly turned into brawls over people’s…
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Do The Knowledge: An Atlanta Story About The Infamous North Avenue IHOP
I’m a t-shirt fiend. I’m always on the lookout for something new and interesting. But also, I’m ALWAYS looking for shirts that represent a time in my life. In December, I was doing my standard holiday perusing and came across this online store selling a shirt that says, “Do The Knowledge” via Student Union NYC.…
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That $1.3 Billion Powerball Meme Went Viral Because People Suck At Reading (And Math Too. But Mostly Reading.)
Unless you’ve been in the same mile-deep, vault-doored, and warhead fortified Alaskan bunker Blair Walsh has (hopefully) secluded himself in since Sunday evening, you’ve undoubtedly seen the viral meme stating that if you divided the $1.3 billion Powerball prize with the 300 million people currently living in America, you’d be able to give everyone the equivalent…
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Am I A Thief? Asking For A Friend
I’ve taken to bringing my lunch to work. It’s cheaper than hitting up any of the various high-priced sandwich shops in my immediate vicinity. On some mornings, I’ll stop by a local grocer and go pick up some Campbell’s microwavable soup thing, spend 8 bucks and get enough for the week. I’m a creature of…
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Thanks, Obama.
While perusing Facebook a few days ago, I came across this tweet for President Barack Hussein Obama’s last State of The Union (SOTU) address on Tuesday, January 12. Typically, I couldn’t care less about those speeches; it’s an annual event where every sitting President lays out his “guys, I’d really like to do some things” priorities…
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Keep Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap Away From Your Fuckparts (Just Trust Me)
Do you remember that mobile home showdown in Kill Bill, when Beatrix plucks out Elle’s remaining good eye, sending her into hysteria as she flailed madly around that mobile home floor, blinded by rage, pain, and betrayal? Do you remember the rush of bewilderment and horror that greeted you the first time you hit a…
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Zack Morris, Religion, and Me
Have you seen Truth Be Told? It’s the new Zack Morris sitcom on NBC in the doomed Friday night slot when all of the people that might watch this show are out doing way cooler shit. It’s not the best show, but it’s also not the worst show, either, but I like Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris) and Tone…

