sports
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I'm Only Rooting For Confirmed Shitty Human Floyd Mayweather Because He's Black. Is This Racist?
This weekend, Floyd Mayweather will fight Manny Pacquiao in what will be the most highly-anticipated boxing match I can remember. It’s so highly-anticipated that people who generally give no fucks about boxing — people like The Wife Person and I — will be making plans this week to not only watch the fight, but possibly (gasp!) pay…
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On Being A Diehard Sports Fan…And Marrying Someone Who Doesn't Give A Shit About Sports
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the NBA playoffs. This, the two month span between mid-April and mid-June, is my favorite time of the year. Not my favorite sports time. There are no qualifiers. No other time of year — not my birthday, not Thanksgiving, not the season premiere of Hannibal — gives me as much…
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Why Baltimore Raven/Mathematician John Urschel Is The Blackest Person Who Ever Existed This Week
1. Because math — not English, not social studies, not horticulture, not even science — is the Blackest subject. At least it is according to JR Writer. And Fabulous. And Cassidy. And every other rapper who’s devoted several bars to bragging about dropping out of school but always being good at math. Because being good at…
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Why People Just Don't Give A Fuck About College Athletes Being Exploited
Last week, a friend joked that the first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA tournament should be national holidays. No one gets any work done anyway, he said, so why not just give everyone those two days off? This was not the first and will not be the last time I’ll hear someone make a…
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Draymond Green Summarized The Entire Black Experience In Five Seconds
At the beginning of the interview, he is every Black American trying to do the right thing. Every worker catching two trains to work this morning. Every parent dropping their kids off at school. Every husband agreeing to go weekend toaster shopping even though the toaster they currently own works perfectly fine. And then, something…
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What's Happening With Derrick Rose Is Fucking Sad
The amount of money Derrick Rose will make because of professional basketball will be in the hundreds of millions. Not tens. Hundreds. He is very young; 26, probably younger than most people reading this. He’s also handsome, world-famous, and, aside from his recurring knee issues, in presumably amazing health. Basically, when thinking of the type…
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The Lightskinned Revolution Will Be Televised During All-Star Weekend
Saturday night, at approximately 10pm EST, Kyrie Irving was competing in the final round of the 2015 three point contest. The other contestants? The “Splash Brothers” — Golden State Warriors guards Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson; a duo doing the exact same thing to the NBA in 2015 that Al B. Sure and Christopher Williams…
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Russell Westbrook And A Black Man's Respect
I recently saw the Vine of Russell Westbrook shooting eye daggers at Jeremy Lamb for not shaking his hand in what looks to be a timeout or some shit and it made me laugh a thousand laughs. Or maybe like ten. The number is unimportant as numbers are merely vessels to get to the point…
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The Real Life Equivalent To How Seattle Lost The Super Bowl
You’re consistently unlucky with love. You’ve never had a girlfriend, and the last date you were on was when you went to the grocery store to buy a bag of dates, and you accidentally sat on the bag while driving back home. You are lonely. Desolate. You’re a tumbleweed on a windless day. A candle…