sports
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Kevin Durant Returns From 23-Game Absence Just to Remind Everyone the NBA Finals Are Over Before They Even Begin
Kevin Durant, who was last seen getting fined $50,000 for calling some attention-starved white boy a “pale pasty cum guzzling bitch,” made his triumphant return to the court last night. Did you hear? After missing the last 23 games with the left hamstring strain from hell, KD came off the bench in the second quarter…
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Hubert Davis Was So Close to Having a Forgettable Press Conference
The first 38 minutes of Hubert Davis’ introductory press conference as the new men’s basketball head coach at the University of North Carolina hit each of the points that new hires for high-profile coaching gigs are expected to. He was gracious, emotional, and humble. He told the story of his own journey to North Carolina…
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Is It Friday? Because Paul Pierce Managed to Get Fired on His Day Off
Paul Pierce has had a week, and it’s only Tuesday. The former NBA star turned heads over the weekend when he went live on Instagram to document a night of twerking, neck massages, and general debauchery. Apparently, the sports analyst forgot he worked for the House of Mouse, and on Monday night it was announced…
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Pepsi Announces Deal as Part of Racial Equality Initiative With Southwestern Athletic Conference, Thanks to a Little Help From Deion Sanders
With the Jackson State Tigers playing on ESPN for the first time since the 1980s, coach Deion Sanders didn’t exactly have the weekend he had hoped for after his team got blown out 34-14 by Southern. But even though Jackson State caught a vicious L on Saturday, they still have plenty to celebrate. From USA…
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I Ain't One to Gossip, but Paul Pierce Might've Had a Mid-Life Crisis This Weekend and Was Stupid Enough to Put It on IG Live
Disney is notoriously strict when it comes to the behavior of its stars both on and off-screen, and while I’m not sure if those same rules apply to ESPN employees—the sports juggernaut was acquired by the House of Mouse back in 1995—I would imagine that after his actions this weekend, NBA great Paul Pierce spent…
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Major League Baseball Moves 2021 All-Star Game From Atlanta in Response to Voter Suppression Law
Major League Baseball will move its signature midseason event out of Atlanta because…How the hell could they spend a whole weekend talking about All-Star voting in a state that doesn’t allow people to vote? MLB’s 2021 All-Star weekend was expected to bring tens of millions of dollars to Georgia’s booming wing industry, while probably boosting…
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How Is This Not a Foul?!
Confession time! Maybe it’s because I never had the traditional college experience (I sacrificed my health and sanity in the military instead; you’re welcome) or perhaps it’s because I’ve never had the desire to keep up with the constant influx of players and teams (how in the hell do y’all keep up with all these…
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NFL Set to Expand to 17-Game Season and Players Don't Sound Too Enthused About It: 'Dumb as Hell'
As Raekwon the Chef, Method Man and Inspectah Deck once so eloquently stated: “Cash rules everything around me! C.R.E.A.M., get the money! Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” So, with the NFL more desperate than ever to increase its bottom line after COVID-19 cost teams about $4 billion in lost revenue last season, trust and believe the…
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Brooklyn Nets Prepare for Inevitable Battle With Los Angeles Lakers by Acquiring Final Infinity Stone, LaMarcus Aldridge
As hoop heads wait for the inevitable championship showdown between the Los Angeles Lakers and Brooklyn Nets, the Nets made a power move over the weekend with the acquisition of seven-time All-Star LaMarcus Aldridge. Aldridge, who agreed to a buyout with his previous employer, the San Antonio Spurs, joins a loaded Nets roster that already…