spiders
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I Saw a Spider In My Car Last Night, Then I Lost Sight of Him. Whole Ride Ruined
I do not know the name of the spider who decided to fuck with me while I was driving home last night. He looked like his name could have been Ivan. Or perhaps Svetlana. Maybe even Sharkeisha. What I do know is that this lone-wolf spider decided that he was going to play with my…
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Man Attempts to Kill Spider With Fire; Spider Sets Apartment on Fire
Here’s a lesson for everyone: If you see a huge spider, maybe don’t try to set it on fire because apparently, spiders will stop, drop and roll their way into setting your apartment on fire. And that’s just what happened to a Redding, Calif., man, after he attempted to torch a venomous wolf spider in…
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Spiders The Size of Puppies? Fuck Nature, Yo.
“The South American Goliath birdeater (real name!) has a footlong legspan and two-inch fangs. Its body is about the size of a fist and it is the largest spider in the world—that we know of.” One more reason I just do not fuck with nature, b. I just don’t. Why is a spider this damn…

