relationships
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I Have Been Issa. I Have Been Tasha. I Have Had My Fair Share of Lawrences
Insecure regularly reminds me of the lessons I am thankful to have learned in my late 20s and early 30s about relationships, sexuality and owning my womanhood. As the second season gets off to a hard and fast start, I am reminded that I have been Issa, I have been Tasha and I have fucked…
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Building Without Tools: 4:44 and the Power of Vulnerability, Part 2
What I thought when I met my dad was, “Oh, I’m free to love now.” But it’s like, how are you gonna do it? … You’ve never done this before; no one informed you how to do this. You don’t even have the tools to do it … “Will 4:44 be for black men the…
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Fighting for the Fairy Tale: 4:44 and the Power of Vulnerability
Look, I apologize, often womanizedTook for my child to be bornTo see through a woman’s eyes … It’s the public apology some have been anticipating since the release of Beyoncé’s Lemonade, her seemingly confessional opus, almost entirely themed on surviving the pain of infidelity. Aside from being a groundbreaking hit, the visual album inevitably rekindled…
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Update: Tamera Mowry-Housley Denies Saying Women Should Be More Refined if They Want to Get a Man
Updated Thursday, May 18, 2017, 10:47 a.m. EDT: Editor’s note: According to Tamera Mowry-Housley, she did an interview with XoNecole (or Cocoa Fab) and was misquoted. We apologize for any confusion. Earlier: Tamera Mowry-Housley, half of the duo from Sister, Sister fame, has some interesting, and some may say archaic, views about dating and marriage.…
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A Relationship Without Kindness Is Doomed From the Start
Recently I came across a Facebook post in which someone told a bride-to-be, “I am happy you are marrying a kind man.” That one phrase in the sea of the other congratulatory messages resonated with me because I lived with a man for six years who was emotionally distant and unkind. And the warning signs…
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Is There a Method to Being Messy? The Do’s and Don’ts of Airing Dirty Laundry
It was the “hell hath no fury” moment many women have had … and even more wish they’d had. A good, old-fashioned read for an utter and complete filth-of-a-no-count man and his side hustle—broadcast for the salacious awe and delight of anyone active on black Twitter. With a single post titled, “Open Letter to My…
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We Are All Insecure
Eight weeks ago, The Root published an article I wrote, titled, “Is Insecure Preying on Black Women’s Insecurities?” It was a simple question, based on an honest concern I’d had while previewing the show prior to its debut on HBO: As viewers—and, at times, voyeurs—of Insecure, what was our intended takeaway? Was there a deliberate…
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Insecure Highlights the Double Standard of Sexual Fluidity
Sunday night’s episode of Insecure had to be one of the best in the series so far. The HBO show does well painting a picture of what it means to be a modern-day single black woman dating in Los Angeles, while examining topics of racism, sexism and microaggressions not only in the dating scene but…
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Prenups Are For Poor People
And by “poor people,” I mean me and you, of course: basically, regular people. I’m 100 percent sure that the likes of Kanye and Kim Kardashian aren’t reading my writings, but if they are, I need the Pirate Black Yeezy Boost 350s in a size 10. Thanks. By definition, a prenuptial agreement is a contract…
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Relationship Hall Passes Are Dumb, Like Jordan-Playing-Baseball Kinda Dumb
Warning: Sports analogies ahead … In theory, the concept of a relationship hall pass sounds like a novel idea. Getting actual permission from your partner to employ the services of a side chick or side dude for a set amount of time without any repercussions? It’s not my cup of tea, but if two consenting…