president obama
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The POTUS Nighttime Playlist Proves President Obama Saved All Of His Remaining Fucks For The Bedroom
“We’ve kinda suspected it before, but President Obama genuinely gives no fucks at this point. He is fuck devoid. Fuck deficient. Fuck deprived. Fuck destitute. His cupboard of fucks is barren; his tank of fucks has been depleted. You know how, on cloudy nights, you might look up into the vast and endless sky and not find any…
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How Dare Malia Obama Be a #CarefreeBlackGirl and Miss Hillary Clinton at the DNC?!
Hillary Clinton gave a personal (read: boring) speech at the Democratic National Convention that left the crowd roaring. But Malia Obama wasn’t there! How dare she? Who does the oldest daughter of President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama think she is?! This is just a thought, but maybe Malia Obama is just a…
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The Democrats Are Led By Fucking Grown-Ups, And The GOP Is Led By An Adolescent Cheeto
For as long as I’ve been aware of American politics and the differences — real and perceived — between our two major parties, I’ve also been aware that the GOP has been touted as the party for grown-ups. For serious (White) men and the women those serious (White) men were married to. The solid and…
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Why President Obama's Final 4th of July White House BBQ Will Be The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened
It’s been well-established that President Obama discarded the last one of his fucks many moons ago; letting it go the same way Kappas forsake dignity at coed kickball games. We don’t know exactly where he left that last fuck, but my guess would be in a bathroom sink in Ben’s Chili Bowl on U Street,…
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President Obama: 12,000 Inmates to Receive Pell Grants for College Study
Even though Congress banned providing financial aid to prisoners in 1994, as many as 12,000 prison inmates will be able to use federal Pell Grants to finance college classes next month, the White House announced Friday. The $30 million Second Chance Pell Grant pilot program, announced by President Barack Obama, will be available to inmates…
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Senator in Hot Water for Praying That Obama’s ‘Days Are Few’
At a major event for conservative Christians on Friday, a Republican senator from Georgia opened his remarks encouraging attendees to pray for our current president—which seems nice enough and, frankly, a very American thing to do. Sen. David Perdue, a freshman senator from Georgia, opened his remarks at the Faith & Freedom Coalition’s Road to…
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President Obama Commutes Sentences of 42 More Inmates
The White House announced Friday that President Barack Obama has granted clemency to 42 individuals. About half of the individuals whose sentences were commuted were serving life sentences, most for drug charges. The president has long been critical of overly harsh penalties for nonviolent drug offenses and an advocate for criminal-justice reform Obama has now commuted…
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Former Deputy White House Counsel Cassandra Butts Dies at 50
Cassandra Quin Butts, the former deputy White House counsel and a nominee to the ambassadorship to the Bahamas, died suddenly Thursday. She was 50 years old. A statement from Butts’ family says that she suffered from a “brief illness” and that she was found by her sister at her Washington, D.C., home. Butts attended Harvard Law…