patriarchy
-
Anxiety Is for Girls, Gays, Wimps, and White People
The second biggest lie that I allow people who’ve read my book, and who’ve heard me speak about my book, to believe is that I’m brave. “How did you find the courage,” they ask, during Q&As at independent bookstores, and through emails and (now) Zoom talks, “to be so forthcoming and vulnerable about your neuroses…
-
Why (Some) Men Seem to be So Bothered by Cardi B's 'WAP,' Explained
This is dumb. What? Your entire premise. What’s wrong with it? Why would anyone in their right mind be bothered by waffles and pancakes? They’re delicious breakfast and brunch staples. The Anthony Davis of breakfast and brunch. And, even if you had celiac disease, there are gluten-free options. Do these men hate french toast too?…
-
Marriage, Ministry and Misogyny: In Kanye's Criticism of Kim, His God Complex—and Hypocrisy—Hit Home
“And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong/You been puttin’ up with’ my shit just way too long/I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most/So I think it’s time for us to have a toast.” —Kanye West Beware of false prophets—or at the very least, be careful what you ask…
-
I Have a Son Now, Which Means I Can Finally Start Respecting Men as People
Last week, my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, bouncing baby boy. He is all the things that you hope new babies are. A blessing. Loud. Adorable. Soft. Precious. Gassy. Alert. Moderately bemused. Perpetually hangry. Vaguely human. Somewhat reminiscent of Fred Sanford. He is also life-changing. He’s our second child, but our first boy—my…
-
Brett Kavanaugh and America's Insistence on White Male Virtue
Let’s start with the laughter: how it was the thing that Christine Blasey Ford remembered best. During a confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday, in a marathon session that ran more than three hours, Blasey Ford recounted how Supreme Court Justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh, then a 17-year-old, sexually assaulted her at a…
-
You Can’t Love and Support R. Kelly and Also Love Black Women and Children
For 24 years now (24!), R. Kelly’s behavior has been as essential to his place in the zeitgeist as his music. He married Aaliyah in 1994, which also happened to be my freshman year of high school. The infamous tape was leaked and distributed in 2002, when I was in college. Dave Chappelle’s “Piss on…
-
Brittney Cooper Talks Beyoncé, White Feminists and Black Women’s Oh-So-Eloquent Rage
The anger of black girls is potent. And given what we deal with, it’s sometimes masked. Or internalized and regurgitated in harmful ways. But Brittney Cooper—Professor Crunk to you, sir— is here to tell y’all all about it. Her book Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower is about how we can use rage to…
-
We Don’t Love Men Like Fabolous. We Just Hate Women
If there’s a takeaway from the revelation of and the reaction to Fabolous’ abuse of Emily Bustamante, his longtime girlfriend and the mother of his two children, it’s that there are no fresh takeaways from it. We should know by now not to allow a man’s laid-back public persona to make us assume he’s not…
-
This Country Does Not Care About the Claims of Abused Women, and It Enables the Men Who Have Been Accused
Before Donald Trump even won the presidential election, women had come forward and accused him of various types of sexual misconduct. A recording surfaced in which he bragged about being able to do whatever he wants with women, and in which he said you should just “grab ’em by the pussy.” No one thought he’d…