news
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I Will Always Be Here for People Cussing Out Donald Trump in Public Spaces
This is dedicated to my real ones. You know how there is that one person everyone in your hood hates, and so you all agree that when you see that person, it’s “on sight,” as we say? For the white people, “on sight” means that as soon as you see the person, it’s going down—whatever…
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Police: Black Woman Who Said ‘I Hate White People’ Before Attacking Passengers on Bus Charged With Hate Crime
A black woman in Maryland is facing hate crime charges after police say she declared her hate for “white people” before attacking two white passengers on board a moving bus in Gaithersburg. According to WJLA-TV, 24-year-old Kimberly Jordan of Silver Spring, Md., was on a Ride On bus around 9 p.m. Monday when she allegedly…
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Woman Who Threw a Chair Through a Window at a North Carolina Airport Didn’t Even Get Cuffed
So apparently, police in North Carolina did not arrest, shoot, throw to the ground, choke or lay one (trigger-happy) finger on a woman who broke a window—at an airport; that’s right, an airport—because she was upset that her flight was canceled. How much you got on “she’s white”? According to WBTV-TV, Charlotte-Mecklenburg police said Monday…
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An Exclusive Interview With the American Flag; You Know, the One the President Keeps Stroking
In what has arguably been one of Donald Trump’s weirdest (and whitest) moves, the president took the stage before the National Federation of Independent Business in Washington, D.C., made a speech, and once he was done bumping his gums, proceeded to hug the U.S. flag using the same hugging technique he reserves for his true…
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Jeff Sessions Explaining How the Trump Administration Is Not Like Nazi Germany Is Peak Dumpster Fire
For the Trump administration, the bottom appears to be nonexistent. On the same day that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen gave an abhorrently insensitive defense of the Trump administration’s insistence on separating immigrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border, U.S. Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler Klan” Sessions actually argued about…
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In 1 Press Conference, Kirstjen Nielsen Just Beat Out Sarah Sanders for Most Hated Person in Trump’s White House
President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before becoming makeshift youth prisons—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka…
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Ohio Sheriff Indicted on Federal Charges After Pocketing Nearly $100,000 in Bribes From Drug Dealers
A former Ohio sheriff who allegedly made himself rich after pocketing almost $100,000 in bribes from drug dealers and others while in office has been indicted on several federal charges. Samuel Crish, 54, of Delphos, Ohio, is facing charges of bribery, extortion and making false statements, the Associated Press reports. Crish wrung the hefty sum…
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Bus Driver Tells Passengers They Must Be US Citizens in Order to Board
As attention turns toward the government-created humanitarian crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border, immigration officials are slowly encroaching into other parts of American life. Over Memorial Day weekend, under the gaze of a Border Patrol agent, a bus driver in Maine told passengers that they needed to be U.S. citizens in order to ride the Concord…
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Watch This White Woman Explain to a Black Woman Why Slavery Wasn’t So Bad
After using census reports and cherry-picked facts, a resident of Cobb County, Ga., recently surpassed the record held by Roseanne Barr and Rachel Dolezal on the Becky-ometer, a scientific tool used to measure the caucasity of white women. In a June 12 meeting of the Cobb County Commission, East Cobb County resident Mary Stevens used…