news
-
White Man Sues for Minority Business-Owner Status After DNA Test Shows He's 4 Percent African
Having found nothing left to colonize on land, sea or the celestial bodies that orbit the planet on which he lives, a Washington man is making a valiant effort to colonize blackness itself. But not be black because… eeewwww! Ralph Taylor, a 55-year-old earthling of the Caucasian variety, owns Orion Insurance Group, LLC, a Lynwood,…
-
Police Issue Arrest Warrant for White Man Who Brandished Gun at 4 FAMU Students Attempting to Get on Elevator
Tallahassee police have an arrest warrant out for a white man who was caught on camera brandishing his gun during an exchange with four Florida A&M students as he was preventing them from entering an elevator. As BuzzFeed reports, police issued an arrest warrant for Don Crandall Jr. last Friday for “Improper Exhibition of a…
-
Trial Begins Today for Chicago Officer Who Shot and Killed Laquan McDonald
Nearly four years after Chicago police Officer Jason Van Dyke unloaded 16 bullets into Laquan McDonald, his murder trial is set to begin in earnest. The long-awaited trial will start with opening arguments on Monday, but first, Judge Vincent Gaughan will make a decision on the defense’s request to move the trial out of Cook…
-
Stop Eating Before Reading: Florida Prisoner Kills Cellmate, Uses Ears for Necklace
In an apparent bid to top every absurd “Florida Man” story ever told, an inmate at a Florida correctional facility strangled his cellmate, gouged out his eyes, mutilated the body and made a necklace with the victim’s body parts before heading to eat breakfast in the chow hall. According to the Miami Herald, the Columbia…
-
Mississippi Senate Candidate Tells Black People to 'Stop Begging' For Scraps
The black-hating, neo-Confederate Republican called “Roy Moore Lite” seeking to become the next Senator from the State of Mississippi visited MSNBC on Friday and in just under 2 minutes, managed to defend the Confederate flag, explain how rap music turns black people into murderers and told African Americans why they should be tired of begging…
-
The NRA is So Mad About Thomas the Tank Engine's Black Friends, They Put a KKK Hood on Him
Although I would probably find it difficult to digest poultry seasoned with thoughts and prayers and couldn’t imagine preferring guitar solos to bass-infused musical breakdowns, I must confess that there is one part of caucasity that I found undeniably attractive: The ability to care about white nonsense. Their superior ability to conjure up white tears…
-
There Was Another Mass Shooting This Weekend But No One Cares
“Black” is a magical word. Black is an adjective. Black is a noun. It is a verb, an adverb, pronoun, preposition … It is all the parts of speech in one. Yes, “black “ is a magical thing. In America, that simple word can render a thing invisible. It can make a whole human disappear…
-
Tyler Perry Offers $200,000, Announces Lawsuit Over Missing Black Man
Within four months of each other, two men vanished into thin air. Both disappearances happened in Naples, Fla. Both men were last seen with the same sheriff’s deputy. No one knows what happened to either man. Movie and television mogul Tyler Perry wants some answers. USA Today reports that Perry and attorney Benjamin Crump announced…