news
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Anti-LGBTQ Lawmaker Caught in His Office Having Extremely Pro-LGBTQ Sex With a Man
An Ohio Republican legislator who campaigned on “family values” and fought against LGBTQ rights has resigned after he was reportedly caught having sex. In his office. With a man. According to Newsweek, a few months ago an “observer” encountered the patriotic state Rep. Wes Goodman in his Columbus, Ohio, office at the Riffe Center, planting…
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Jameis Winston Under Investigation in Grabbing of Uber Driver’s Crotch
Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston is under investigation by the NFL since allegations have surfaced that he groped an Uber driver in 2016. According to BuzzFeed, Liesa Friel, the NFL’s special counsel for investigations, sent a letter to a female Uber driver, identified only as “Kate,” informing her that the league is investigating an…
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Study Shows That Black Men Serve Longer Prison Sentences Than White Men Convicted for the Same Crime; Also, Water Is Wet
I’m taking it for granted that anyone who knows anything about the American criminal-justice system could hazard a guess that black men end up serving longer prison sentences than white men who commit the same crimes. But just in case you needed solid evidence to cite in your next argument with your racist aunty, a…
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The Rev. Jesse Jackson Reveals Parkinson’s Diagnosis
The Rev. Jesse Jackson has announced that he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Jackson, 76, described in a letter to supporters how he was diagnosed with the disease and also said that the same disease afflicted his father. According to NBC Chicago, Jackson was diagnosed in 2015. Read the letter below: Dear Friends and Supporters,…
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Former United Airlines Pilot (and Houston Brothel Owner) Receives Probation and $2,000 Fine
Imagine having a great career as a pilot with United Airlines and being able to find the time between layovers to moonlight as a brothel owner in Houston. And not just one brothel, but a string of brothels. Well, that was the life of former United Airlines pilot Bruce Wayne Wallis until his 2015 arrest.…
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Idiot Gun Owner Shoots Himself and Wife in Church While Speaking About His Right to Have a Gun in Church
In today’s “What Would Jesus Do?” news, a Tennessee man shot himself in church while trying to advocate for his right to bring guns to church. According to the Knoxville News Sentinel, the incident occurred at the First United Methodist Church in Tellico Plains, Tenn., after an 80-year-old man pulled out his gun during a…
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Texas Motorist Whose Vehicle Boasts Profane Anti-Trump Sticker Arrested on Previous, Outstanding Warrant
Nothing to see here. Nothing at all. It’s just that a Texas motorist whose truck caught a lot of attention in the past 24 hours over a bold sticker in its rear window declaring, “FUCK TRUMP AND FUCK YOU FOR VOTING FOR HIM,” has since been arrested. Karen Fonseca was not arrested because of the…
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Dad Stabbed to Death Defending Son During Robbery
A New Jersey dad was killed while trying to protect one of his young children during a robbery. According to his family, Jose “Migue” Malave, 30, was killed in front of his girlfriend and four of his children after a group of teens attempted to rob his 8-year-old son of a pair of sneakers, the…
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Kim Foxx’s Office Orders Release of 15 More Chicago Inmates Tainted by Dirty Cop
Cook County, Ill., prosecutors headed by State’s Attorney Kim Foxx dropped all charges against 15 men they say were framed by a corrupt cop, with reports that this is the “first mass exoneration in history.” When the 45-year-old African American took office, she promised to target gun crimes in city neighborhoods and revamp a branch…