news
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More Remains of Sgt. La David Johnson Discovered in Niger, Weeks After Funeral
Almost a month after the funeral of Sgt. La David Johnson, questions remain as to how he was killed and what was in the casket his wife hovered over and said her last goodbyes to in October. According to CNN, more remains of Johnson and the three other soldiers who were killed in an October…
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Very Married Former NBA Star Ray Allen Reportedly Caught in Catfishing Scheme by ‘Troubled’ Man
Former NBA shooting guard, and very married, Ray Allen is out here wilding. Apparently ole Ray Allen got himself caught up in a damn catfishing scheme, and now he’s fighting to keep all his dirty laundry off the interwebs. In legal documents obtained by TMZ Sports, Allen was reportedly catfished by a man claiming to…
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When a Deadbeat Dad Attacks a College Grad: Joe Walsh Blew His Racist Dog Whistle on Marshawn Lynch and Twitter Wasn’t Having It
There are some people who become assholes over time, and then there are some people who are just born this way. Joe Walsh was born this way; it’s his gift. I imagine baby Joe Walsh, like an asshole idiot savant, chastising his nanny over the consistency of his breast milk. I imagine teen Joe Walsh…
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Teen Suicide Bomber Kills at Least 50 at Mosque in Nigeria
A teen suicide bomber targeted worshippers at a mosque in Nigeria, killing at least 50 people, authorities reported on Tuesday. The teen boy detonated his explosives in the crowd that had gathered around 5:20 a.m. for morning prayers in the northeastern town of Mubi. Authorities say that they are “still trying to ascertain the number…
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Can a Company Be a Messy Bitch? Whitefish Stopped Work in Puerto Rico Over $83,000,000 It’s Apparently Owed
It’s been two months since the people of Puerto Rico have had fully functioning power. However, Whitefish Energy Holdings, the small Montana firm that was supposed to be helping restore electricity to the island’s devastated power grid, has now decided to stop all work because Puerto Rico’s government has not paid crews as part of…
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Anti-Gay Politician Sexually Harassed More Than 30 Men and Teenagers Before He Was Caught: Report
When Ohio state Rep. Wes Goodman was caught in his congressional office heroically helping another man release the Krakken, some people felt sorry for the politician. Even though he had a long history of anti-LGBTQ advocacy, including trying to block same-sex marriage in Washington, D.C., there were a few people who sympathized with Goodman’s wife…
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Here’s Why No One Cares About University of Oklahoma Quarterback Baker Mayfield Grabbing His Dick on National TV
While “alt-whites” are fuming over the the shoplifting exploits of three teen UCLA players who happened to include ultra-free black man LaVar Ball’s middle son LiAngelo Ball, the Christian God’s favorite collegiate pocket passer and Heisman hopeful, University of Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield, grabbed his dick on national television while yelling, “Fuck you,” to Kansas’ players.…
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Trump Supporter Accused of Threatening to Kill Rep. Maxine Waters in Racist Voicemail Remains Free on Bail
A San Pedro, Calif., man who clearly must have lost his damn mind is accused of threatening to kill Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) in a hateful, racist voicemail, all because the little snowflake was so upset about Auntie Maxine’s criticisms of the dotard in chief. The Los Angeles Times reports that 44-year-old Anthony Scott Lloyd…
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LaVar Ball vs. Donald Trump: The Epic CNN Smackdown
If there is ever a lesson to be learned about LaVar Ball, it is that the man has powered up on his smack-talk game, and you will never be able to best him at it, even if you bring him on your CNN news show in an attempt to do so. Unfortunately, CNN host Chris…
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Trump Administration Kicks 59,000 Displaced Haitian Earthquake Victims Out of the US
The Trump administration announced Monday that 59,000 displaced Haitian earthquake victims who have been living in the United States under temporary status must leave the country within 18 months. Where does the administration expect them to go? According to the Los Angeles Times, more than 3o,000 Haitians affected by the order live in Florida; another…