halloween

  • Donald Trump Does The Hood: A Halloween Horror Story

    He had been warned about this. His adult children, Ivanka, Eric, Donald Jr, and even the one no one gives a shit about, tried to reason with him, sharing horror stories about what they’ve heard about the hood, complete with anecdotes about deadly and sarcastic bodega cats and Ivanka’s own first-hand experience with mysterious and…

  • Halloween Is the Worst Fucking Day of the Year

    From whichever day happened to be the day after Halloween in 1996 to whichever day happened to be the day before Halloween in 1997, my then six-year-old nephew obsessed — daily! — about who and what he was going to be for Halloween. He’d wake me up at 3:17am (we shared a bedroom) to say he…