Donald Trump
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Five Great Alternatives Black America Should Seriously Consider For President
As Barack Obama’s second presidential term winds to a close, Black Americans are contemplating the sad prospect of holding their noses when they cast their votes for the next Commander-in-Chief. Instead of choosing the lesser of the remaining evils, here are five choices you should consider for the next Black President of the United States:…
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Fuck This Entire Election Cycle
When Donald Trump was scheduled March 11 to stump on the University of Illinois Chicago campus, I was driving to Detroit with the goal of getting out of town before the inevitable protests began. I openly questioned on Facebook the purpose of protesting Trump, as if making a scene in public wouldn’t just embolden his…
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Ben Carson Endorsed Trump For A Job Hook-Up, Which Reminds Us Ben Carson Is Black As Fuck
You can say many things about Ben Carson, the backordered decaffeinated coffee machine who recently dropped out of the presidential race. Iconic surgeon. Popeyes enthusiast. Vigilante. Black History Month book report muse. Delusional motherfucker. But one thing you cannot do is doubt his Blackness bonafides. Yes, his actual politics, if enacted, would have put America back to 1953.…
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Dear White People: Donald Trump Is Happening Because You're Scared Of Black People, So Don't Be!
Both Donald Trump and Trump supporters seem to be perplexed that a campaign full of unambiguous antagonism towards people who don’t happen to be White has created the type of climate where what happened in Chicago last weekend happens. Which is like someone who happens to be lactose intolerant drinking an Oreo shake and then…
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An Ode To Ben Carson: Our Favorite Gifted-Handed Clusterfuck
Super Tuesday 2016 has come and gone. Barring a miraculous influx of cash from an itchy pocketed donor with literally no one else to give money to (in which case, I would like to point them toward my IRS bill because the Feds are absolutely not playing with me this year), we are more than likely…
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Louis Farrakhan Admires…Donald Trump (And Yes, This Is A Real Thing That Really, Actually Happened)
When I first saw the news about Minister Louis Farrakhan praising and complimenting Donald Trump circulating my newsfeeds and timelines, I assumed it was a story from The Onion. “Haha!” I initially thought, “Those jokers at The Onion really tickle my knickers!” Okay, that’s a lie. I knew it wasn’t from The Onion. It would…
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Want To "Make America Great Again!" But Don't Know How? Easy. Legalize White Slavery
“Make America Great Again!” has been an unquestionably effective, shrewd, and admittedly genius campaign strategy for Donald Trump. Sequencing those four words in that order is a brilliantly succinct way of communicating two separate and equally powerful messages: 1. America was once great, is no longer great, but can be great again 2. America was…
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Exactly How Black Was President Obama's Final State Of The Union Address?
Last night, President Barack Obama began the farewell tour of his presidency with his final State of the Union address. It’s already been established that he’s shrouded in a cloak of no fucks; his fuck-drained cape flapping in the wind as he breezes past for one final lap. And, by virtue of being the first…
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Someone Needs To Put The GOP Presidential Nominees In A Van. And Push That Van Off A Bridge
While I was in Target a couple weeks ago, getting Diaper Genie bags and seeing if the latest issue of EBONY Magazine was there yet, The Wife Person texted me, asking me to pick up some bananas. I usually don’t buy produce at Target; preferring to buy my fruits and meats and veggies at Giant Eagle…