Donald Trump
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Georgia Rep. John Lewis Says He Has Trump’s Impeachment on His Mind
Donald Trump may be in line to get his comeuppance sooner rather than later, now that the “conscious” of the House Democrats, civil rights legend Rep. John Lewis, says he’s closer to making known his views on impeaching “this so-called president.” “My time is growing near,” Lewis (D-Ga.) said this week, according to Politico, continuing:…
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Joe Biden Appears to Be The Last Person to Realize That Joe Biden Will Never Be President
Between two and four times a week, I come home from whatever it is I was doing before, I change into gym-appropriate clothes, I stuff a four-year-old Gap Kids baby bag repurposed as a gym bag with a pair of Kyrie 5s, a knee brace, extra socks, and a T-shirt, and I make the drive…
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Trump Solves the Mystery Behind His Peculiar Orange Hue: 'The Light's No Good. I Always Look Orange'
For years, we’ve struggled to comprehend the science behind Donald Trump’s bizarre orange hue; how his epidermis acts as camouflage inside of a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos or how he’s often mistaken for half-eaten candy corn in the fall. Is his tangerine tone a result of a poor diet or is his body preparing…
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The Black Man Trump Called ‘My African American’ Calls It Quits on the Republican Party
Gregory Cheadle, the black Republican Donald Trump once referred to as “my African American,” has finally had enough of Trump’s shenanigans and is quitting the GOP and making a run for Congress as an independent. In an interview with PBS NewsHour, Cheadle said he had hoped that as president, Trump would focus on economic issues…
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Trump's Impeachment Just Became One Step Closer to Reality After House Judiciary Committee Sets Guidelines
If only Operation Trump Gotta Go was as easy as signing a Change.org petition and changing all the locks in the White House. Sadly, impeachment proceedings are a bit more arduous than that—though it would appear that the Lord heard our cry and he pulled a few strings to expedite the process. From CNN: The…
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An Open Letter to the Bahamas from America’s ‘Very Bad’ Gangsters and Drug Dealers
Dearest Bahamians, First, as the official spokesperson representing the Greater Association of Ne’er-do-wells, Goons, Shitbags and Thieves of America (GANGSTA), a consortium of America’s worst crooks, I would like to offer my condolences and best wishes on your recovery from Hurricane Dorian. We pray that the people of the Bahamas make a swift recovery from…
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Sharpiegate: Democrats Launch Probe Into Whether Team Trump Worked to Muddy Hurricane Facts
Donald Trump wouldn’t let Sharpiegate go when he kept insisting that Alabama was in grave danger from Hurricane Dorian, and now, neither will the Democrats. On Wednesday, the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, led by Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas), started an investigation into whether Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross meddled in the presentation…
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Trump Administration Reportedly Won’t Offer Temporary Protected Status to Bahamians Displaced by Hurricane Dorian
Looks like Donald Trump’s fears of “very bad people” when it comes to Bahamians devastated by Hurricane Dorian may have killed any hope that the U.S. would do the right thing offer temporary protected status to people who’ve lost so much in the storm. According to NBC News, citing “an administration official,” the U.S. will…
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Trump Mulls Ban on Flavored E-Cigarettes Amid Rise in Deadly Lung Disease Linked to Vaping
An alarming rise in a mysterious and sometimes deadly lung disease linked to vaping has the Trump administration gunning for non-tobacco-flavored e-cigarettes in a bid to at least discourage young people from taking up the habit. The lung disease has so far sickened hundreds of people across the nation and killed six, CNBC reports. U.S.…
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Trump Administration Officials Arrested for Scamming Puerto Rico Out of $1.8 Billion in Hurricane Relief Funds
Remember when Trump blasted Puerto Rico’s government for their corruption and thievery, explaining that he was the best thing that ever happened to that foreign country whose president’s name he couldn’t quite remember? Well, it turned out, it was his own people who were actually doing the scamming. A federal grand jury indicted two former…